


The Slayer of Verona.

by steeleye



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Crossover. - Freeform, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-11
Updated: 2013-12-19
Packaged: 2018-01-04 08:48:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 23,860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1078977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/steeleye/pseuds/steeleye
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The story behind one of William Shakespeare’s best known plays. Join Faith as she plummets from the balcony of her apartment building in Sunnydale and lands in 16th century Verona.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The Slayer of Verona.

By Steeleye.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own the Buffyverse (Joss Wheedon/Mutant Enemy) or Romeo and Juliet (which I’d imagine is out of copyright by now,). I write these stories for fun not profit.

 **Crossover:** Buffy the Vampire Slayer with William Shakespeare’s play, ‘Romeo and Juliet’. Also ‘Goldilocks and the Three Bears’ and just a touch of Blackadder II.

 **Spelling, Grammar and Punctuation:** Written in glorious English-English, which is different to American-English.

 **Timeline:** BtVS S3 Graduation, Part One.

 **Words:** Nine chapters of about 2500 words each.

 **Warnings:** Violence and scenes of a sexual nature.

 **Summary:** The story behind one of William Shakespeare’s best known plays. Join Faith as she plummets from the balcony of her apartment building in Sunnydale and lands in 16th century Verona.

0=0=0=0

**PROLOGUE.**

Sitting at his writing desk Master Shakespeare arranged the tools of his trade; he placed his sharpened quills just so, his pot of ink thus. The sheaf of unmarked paper lay on his desk taunting him with its blankness. This could be the most important piece of writing he’d ever done; he’d been commissioned to write the play by Sir John Dee himself, the founder and leader of ‘Ye Council of Gentlemen Watchers’; so why couldn’t he put pen to paper?

These past few weeks there had been much argument amongst the council’s members as to whether the existence of vampires and other fiends from hell should be made common knowledge. It was for this purpose that Sir John had commissioned Will to write a play about a slayer and her adventures against the hellspawn.

Sitting back in his chair, Will glanced out of the window to his right; there in the garden was Anne, his own potential slayer, taking instruction in the correct use of the quarterstaff from Henry Fairweather. Will smiled as he watched the girl take her stance and attack Henry with a flurry of blows that the old soldier deflected easily before tripping the girl onto the grass. Henry laughed and held out his hand to Anne to haul her to her feet. There was a blur of motion as Henry went flying over Anne’s recumbent form to land on the grass a little north of the girl’s head.

Laughing Will looked back at the blank sheets of paper that teased him so. He had heard the story that the slayer had told. He had the tale firmly fixed in his mind, it was a good story. In fact it was an excellent story, it had everything you could want in a play; action, adventure, mystery, comedy and romance. So why couldn’t he begin? Could it be that he was afraid he couldn’t do it justice? He remembered the way the slayer had recounted her tale, her dark eyes flashing in the firelight as her dark curls bounced about her face, and that strange accent of hers. How could he do justice to such story telling?

Sighing Will picked up a quill, dipped the nib in the ink, for a moment more his hand hesitated above the pristine sheet of paper. Then, bending to his task he started to write…

_In fair Verona, where we lay our scene,_  
From ancient grudge break to new mutiny,  
Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean.  
A pair of lovers make their life;  
Whole misadventured piteous overthrows  
The fearful passage of their death-mark'd love,  
Is now the two hours' traffic of our stage;  
The which if you with patient ears attend,  
What here shall miss, our toil shall strive to mend. 

That would do for a start; he could polish it later, now on with the play…

0=0=0=0

**Act I, Scene I: A blood stained street in Verona.**

“A plague o' both your houses!” gasped Mercutio as he lay bleeding on the cobbled street, “For they have made worm’s meat of me…”

“Whatever,” sighed Faith as she calmly watched the man die. 

Looking up she pointed her sword at the small group of Montague supporters who stood battered and bleeding a little further along the darkened street.

“Any of ya want some more?” she asked taking a step or two towards the little band.

Pausing only for a moment the Montague’s ran off into the night leaving their friend’s body on the street.

“Cowards,” Faith spat as she walked over to the corpse.

“Captain!” Pietro, one of Faith’s men touched her arm, “Captain, lets be away, that’s Mercutio one of the Prince’s kinsmen!”

“Crap!” Faith wiped the blood from her blade before returning it to her scabbard, “But he drew on us first, right?”

“Aye, that he did Captain,” Sansone, the other guard who was with her that night stepped forward, “but d’you think that’ll make any difference if the Prince hears of this?”

“Nah,” Faith shook her head, “ya probably right.” Kneeling down she cut the purse from Mercutio’s belt, “That’ll make it look like a robbery gone bad.”

Standing up she opened the purse and heard the coins click together.

“Here,” she handed her two men a few coins each, “get outta here and don’t say nothin’ to no one about this, okay?”

Nodding Sansone and Pietro touch their knuckles to their caps before running off into the night leaving Faith to stand over the body on the blood wet street. Spitting onto the cobbles again she turned her back on the corpse and bfore heading back to her lodgings at the Turk’s Head tavern. 

The night had started peacefully enough, a few drinks at ‘The Head’ and then out on patrol. Everything had been quite until she’d got to the district where Capulet territory butted on to Montague turf; that’s when everything had gone to hell. Laughing to herself as she walked, Faith thought it wasn’t really all that different from Sunnydale.

0=0=0=0

The last thing Faith remembered was falling; she’d fought Buffy and lost, but only after the little bitch had pulled her own knife on her. If she ever got back to Sunnydale she’d make Buffy pay for that…or maybe not. After all she’d done pretty well for herself in late sixteenth century Italy. Of course it had all been very different when she’d first arrived.

She remembered the pain of being stabbed then falling; next there’d been this really bright light and a sensation like being pulled apart and then put back together again. No doubt her watcher would've had some fancy name for it, some sort of magic portal or something. Whatever had happened all Faith knew was that when she woke up she was lying in a ditch by the side of a dirt track; this, she later discovered, was the main road between Verona and Mantua in Italy.

It wasn’t until she was half way to Verona that she noticed two important things; first she didn’t have a gaping knife wound in her stomach. Second, everyone was dressed really weird and they were looking at her as if she’d fallen out of a UFO or something. That first day had been very confusing as she didn’t understand the language and she didn’t have any money. For a while it had looked as if the town’s people were fixing to throw her out of town or worse.

Then came Faith’s first piece of luck; it had been just after dusk and she was starting to wonder where she was going to spend the night when somebody jumped her. It'd been her own fault; she shouldn’t have gone down that dark alley and she should have been paying more attention to her surroundings. But, what the hell, it turned out for the best in the end. There’d only been three of them and only one of her attackers had been a vampire.

After quickly kicking the asses of the humans she turned her full attention to the vamp. Having had a bad day, what with being stabbed and transported through time and space, she took out all her anger on the vampire. Taking her time she'd kicked his ass up one side of the alley and down the other. It was plain to Faith that the vamp had never heard of ‘The Slayer’ let alone fought one. Well, that was just too bad for him, unable to find a piece of wood to use as a stake she broke the vamp’s neck and felt a hell of a lot better for having done so.

Having turned the tables on the muggers (who she later learnt to refer to as ‘footpads’) she rifled through their clothing. Coming away from the robbery with a purse of local money and a dagger. She stripped one of the thieves of his shirt and jacket to replace her own blood stained top; the clothes were rank but they would do until she found something better or a laundry. Picking up one of the thieves caps she put it on her head and went in search of a bar.

0=0=0=0

**Scene II: The Turk’s Head Tavern.**

Walking into the tap room of the Turk’s Head, Faith was once again struck by how much the place looked like a scene from an old Hollywood ‘swash-buckler’ movie. There were men sitting at the tables eating and drinking; tavern wenches and whores moved between the tables. Somewhere a guy was plucking on a guitar like instrument and singing some song about a girl who’d never learnt to keep her legs crossed. Everyone was having a good time.

Walking down the few steps from the door to the floor of the room proper, Faith nodded and smiled to the men who hailed her and lifted a tankard or goblet in her direction. They were mostly Capulet men or mercenaries who worked for the prince. A drunk stumbled into her and made the mistake of thinking she was a whore. He tried to grope her boob, but Faith deftly intercepted his hand, twisted and pushed. Not too hard, but it still sent the newcomer staggering across the room until he collided with a table and sprawled on the floor shaking his head in bewilderment.

Everyone who saw this little piece of action cheered and clapped, it was good entertainment when someone mistook ‘The Captain’ for a whore. It hadn’t happened in a long time, people had learnt. But, every now and again some newcomer would be egged on by his so-called friends and would make a very bad mistake. Faith knew that there was a certain amount of betting that went on over what would happen, but, as long as she got her cut from the pot she didn’t mind too much.

“Hey, Luigi!” Faith threw the purse to the landlord, “Rent.”

The plump middle-aged man in the leather apron caught the purse deftly in one hand then tossed it from hand to hand gauging its weight. Satisfied he smiled at her and hurried off to put the money somewhere safe. A serving girl passed her a tankard of beer as she walked by. Nodding her thanks Faith looked around the room for a moment; seeing the man she wanted she walked over to the secluded table in the corner where he sat by himself. He smiled as he saw her coming over to join him.

“Faith, my love!” Sir Percy stood up and kissed Faith on the mouth and tried to slip his hand into her shirt.

“Easy tiger!” Faith pushed him away enough so she could sit down, “Later,” she promised.

0=0=0=0

The man, Sir Percy, was an English mercenary who commanded the Prince’s cavalry. He had long blond hair and one of those little pointy beard-moustache things that were so popular in this time. He was tall for the period, making him about eight inches taller than Faith; athletic and intelligent. He also didn’t appear to care that Faith was stronger than he was, or could best him in a fight with any type of weapon; most importantly he didn’t object to wearing a condom made from sheep’s intestine when they made love.

He’d been the first person to actually show any interest in her (as anything other than a whore). He’d heard her struggling to order food and wine that first night in Verona. Recognising her language as a form of his own Elizabethan English he’d stepped up and helped out. He’d listened to her strange tail of how she’d ended up in Italy without once saying she was insane or bewitched. He’d also not assumed that he was going to get laid when he’d offered to share his room with her that night.

The truth was that Sir Percy was a gentleman and something of a romantic. He actually believed in all the stories about knights being the good guys and helping out maidens in distress; even after Faith had shown herself not to be a maiden and more than capable of causing a lot of distress herself. As the weeks past he taught her Italian and trained her in the use of sword and dagger and the local styles of fighting. He’d been amazed at her ability to pick up weapon’s skills as well as her strength and stamina. 

They’d known each other for about two months before they’d started sleeping together; it had been a bitterly cold night and what better way was there to keep warm? It was then that their relationship had hit the rocks for the first and so far only time. It’d all been because of Percy’s sense of honour and Faith’s ‘love ‘em and leave ‘em’ attitude. Percy had wanted to marry her out of some misplaced sense of guilt; while Faith (being frightened that someone might actually end up caring about her) wanted to ‘get outta Dodge’ and head for the hills.

After making each other miserable for several days they’d came to some sort of agreement; Sir Percy believed that Faith would marry him at some undefined point in the future. While Faith believed she could leave him any time she wanted with no looking back. In the meantime they would live together and screw each others brains out; it worked for them.

0=0=0=0

“I can tell by the look in your eye, my sweet,” smiled Sir Percy as he sat down, “that you’ve been in another fight, am I right?”

“Yeah,” Faith sighed as she sat down next to her lover; she took a swig from her tankard after tossing her hat onto the table, “it’s getting so a girl can’t walk the streets at night without getting jumped.”

“Tell me all about it, oh love of my life,” Percy grinned and put his arm around Faith’s shoulder and pulled her close.

“Hey!” she complained, “Later I said.”

“Alright,” Percy released her from his hold and sat back, “normally you can’t wait to get up to the bedchamber after a fight, what’s so different this time?”

“Look,” Faith began, “I’m like talking to Percy the guy I screw, right? Not Captain Sir Percy, Commander of the Prince’s Cavalry, okay?”

“Plain old Sir Percy it is then,” Percy smiled encouragingly.

“See,” Faith looked around making sure no one was listening, “there’s no good way of saying this but I killed Mercutio tonight.”

“WHAT!?” Percy almost stood up he was so shocked, “The Prince’s kinsman? Bloody hell lass what were you thinking?”

“Hey!” Faith immediately became defensive at her boyfriend’s reaction, “He drew on us first.”

“As if that’ll make any difference,” Percy spoke more calmly now as he tried to look for a way out of this situation, “tell me what happened.”

“Me and a couple of my guys were out near Via del Tessitore, you know where it turns away from the river?” Faith explained.

Percy nodded his head he knew the place, a perfect spot for an ambush.

“Anyways,” Faith took another swig of beer, “this bunch of Montagues comes outta the dark with their swords out and ready to fight.”

“You have witnesses?” Percy wanted to know.

“Only, Pietro and Sansone,” Faith shrugged her shoulders, “the Montague’s will just say we attacked them.”

Percy ‘Hmmm-ed’ and nodded his head in agreement with her assessment.

“So, like, I fight them off while my two guys watched by back,” despite herself Faith started to feel herself get excited as she recounted the tale of the fight, “some how Mercutio got his-self stabbed.”

“So he ran onto your blade did he?” Percy grinned as he felt Faith’s hand rest on his thigh.

“Well, not so much, exactly,” Faith’s hand was starting to stray further ‘north’ with every second, “he just sorta got in the way. I don’t know what he was doing there anyway,” Faith let Percy put his arm around her again, this time she didn’t object, “he’s not even a Montague, he’s just a friend of that prick Romeo.”

“Ah!” Percy kissed Faith on her forehead, “Tis obvious that it was his own fault!”

“Huh?” Faith felt Percy’s hand slip under her jacket and shirt.

“Well, its clear, isn’t it?” Percy was now caressing Faith’s breast while punctuating his speech with kisses to her face and lips, “He took part in a fight that wasn’t his own…an ambush no less, and got killed for it.” Suddenly Percy broke off what he was doing and looked Faith squarely in the eye, “You weren’t recognised were you?”

“Yeah,” Faith stopped worming her hand into Percy’s breeches for a moment, “probably, anyway the Montague’s would say I was there even if I wasn’t, so… So, I took his purse when they ran off, made it look like a robbery gone bad,” her hand found what it had been looking for, “What say we finish this upstairs, eh?”

“Excellent idea,” agreed Percy, “one last night together before I’m sent to arrest you…”

“HEY!” Faith withdrew her hand and pulled away from her lover, “I was…”

“HA!” laughed Percy, “The look on your face!” he chuckled before noticing the warning frown on Faith’s face. “Have no fear my lethal little rose bud, I’ll not tell and if the Prince does decide to have you arrested I’ll make sure you have plenty of time to get out of town.”

“Yeah, okay.” Faith thought about sleeping on her own tonight, but she had that after combat itch that couldn’t be ignored; she decided to make Percy pay in other more enjoyable ways, “My bed or yours?”

0=0=0=0


	2. Chapter 2

2.

**Act II, Scene I: The House of the Cavaliere Capulet.**

The following morning broke sunny and warm. Faith headed for the Cavaliere Capulet’s house where she was employed as ‘Chief of Security’, with special responsibility for Juliet Capulet’s virginity. 

Faith had become a popular figure around Verona in the year or so since she’d first arrived. On her arrival she’d discovered that a nest of vampires had taken up residence in a run down and deserted palace just inside the city walls. They were powerful and rich enough to employ human soldiers to guard them during the day. The local church was powerless against them and Prince Escalus (the supposed ruler of Verona) was too busy with his dreams of military glory to bother about a pack of vampires who only ever ate the poor. But that was only until Faith had come on the scene; she'd chased off the human soldiers and burnt the vampire’s lair down one bright sunny day.

Of course this made her extremely popular with the town’s people, but not with the church or the prince. Percy had explained to her that the church had found the vampires very useful for keeping the locals in line and stamping out any signs of heresy wherever it might show itself. The prince didn’t like it because; while people were worrying about vampires they weren’t worrying about how he was spending their taxes. Or, that the streets were run by gangs, the biggest of which were the Montagues and Capulets.

After she had killed the fifth or sixth assassin sent to murder her; the church gave up trying to have her murdered and decided on a ‘live and let live and Faith won’t come ‘round and burn down your church before nailing the bishop to the front door’ policy. The prince was even more pragmatic, after failing to interest Faith in working for him (he reminded her too much of Wesley Wyndom-Price). He suggested that Cavaliere Montague or Cavaliere Capulet might want to employ her. His idea being that she would tip the balance of power towards one house or the other and there would be an end to the street fights that plagued the city. After a short bidding war, Faith eventually went to work for the House of Capulet.

0=0=0=0

Walking up to the gate and nodding a ‘good morning’ to the guards on duty, Faith ran an expert eye over their halberds as she walked by. Noting that they looked clean and sharp she continued on her way. Ducking her head she walked through the door set into the main gate and out into the big courtyard with its fountain. To the left were the stables; to the right, the barracks where the household guards and servants lived. In front of her stood the main house where the Cavaliere and Lady Capulet lived with their daughter Juliet.

Resting her left hand on the hilt of her sword Faith made her way across the courtyard heading for the kitchens. No one paid her much heed these days, the novelty of seeing a woman dressed in man’s clothes had worn off long ago. Servants would step out of her way, and the other officers of the house would greet her politely; Faith loved every minute of it. Here she wasn’t second string to anyone; she wasn’t ‘the other slayer’. The one you sent when ‘Little Bitch Buffy’ was too busy jerking off her tame vamp.

The one speck of sand in Faith’s eye was her special charge…Juliet. The girl was thirteen years old with huge boobs, long blonde hair and not a brain cell in her head. Being the Capulet’s only surviving child (there had been two sons; one had died in a fire and the other in a street brawl with the Montagues), her mother spoiled her and let her do very much as she pleased.

One of Faith’s duties was to protect Juliet’s ‘honour’, this translated as stopping the girl from screwing any passing stable lad that might take her fancy. Secretly Faith referred to Juliet as ‘Juliet (bury me in a ‘Y’ shaped coffin) Capulet’. As time past and she got older Juliet was getting sneakier in her efforts to get out while unsupervised and even more determined to throw herself on to the first penis that hove into view. Luckily Faith had one good ally…Nursie.

Finding herself in the kitchen Faith grabbed some roast pork, bread and a mug of watered down wine. Little knowing that she had sown the seeds of ‘women’s lib’ in Verona; she ignored the wistful looks of the kitchen maids as she strode on up the stairs towards Juliet’s rooms. Chewing on her bread and pork she also didn’t realise she’d invented the ‘sandwich’ a couple of hundred years too early.

“Hi Nursie!” Faith cried cheerily as she walked into Juliet’s suit of rooms.

“And good morning to you Captain Faithie,” Nursie was a comfortably plump, attractive woman in her late twenties or early thirties; she had dark eyes that twinkled with secret amusement, rosy cheeks a clear complexion and smelt faintly of milk. “You look as if you had a good night,” she smiled knowingly, “when are you going to marry that Sir Percy of yours and make an honest gentleman of him?”

“Sometime never,” smiled Faith as she licked pork fat off her fingers, “where’s Goldilocks?” this was one of Faith’s more polite names for Juliet.

“She went for an early morning ride,” Nursie put down the sewing she’d been doing and got up to look out the window.

“Who with?” a frown was spreading rapidly across Faith’s face.

“Oh, don’t worry,” Nursie turned to look at Faith, “you need to eat more my girl, you’re all skin and bone.”

To Nursie anyone under twelve stone was ‘all skin and bone’.

“Nursie, who?”

“Oh, don’t fuss so,” Nursie started to bustle about the room picking things up and putting them down somewhere else, “I’m not daft…I sent her out with Erminio.”

“Thank fuck for that,” sighed Faith; Erminio was one of the grooms, he was also extremely gay. “So what has our little ‘angel’ got planned for today…if she doesn’t fall onto the nearest ploughman and let him plough her furrow!”

“HA!” laughed Nursie, “You’ve been working on that.”

Faith smiled self-consciously, she had in fact been trying out the more flowery language used by the locals. She wanted to fit in and making, what were called, ‘ribald’ comments were she would have said something like ‘fuck’ was all part of playing the game.

“Nothing of much import for today,” by now Nursie had settled to folding up some clothes, “so you won’t have to throw yourself in front of ‘Little Madam’ to save her honour.” Nursie sighed deeply, “You know sometimes I think we should just let her get on with it and impale herself on the first cock that takes her fancy…but…” Nursie sighed, “But that would upset her mother, she still thinks of her as her innocent little angel.”

Nursie and Faith shared a moment of silence before Nursie remembered something.

“By the by,” Nursie paused in her clothes folding; “the Cavaliere asked if you would go see him…something about a ball.”

“Oh, crap!” Faith hated balls (well those sorts of balls anyway); it usually meant she had to wear a dress.

“Oh, don’t be like that,” sympathised Nursie, “I think you look very pretty in a dress.”

Faith didn’t; her normal outfits, a mixture of sixteenth and twentieth century fashion, were comfortable, practical and leaned heavily towards black leather and white lace. She thought she looked totally cool in her everyday clothes. Unfortunately there were times when she had to wear the heavy, uncomfortable women’s clothes of the day that made it almost impossible for her to fight effectively.

“Okay,” Faith kicked at the floor and sulked a little, “where’s the boss at?”

“He’s meeting Count Paris in the garden,” Nursie explained, “so you’ve got plenty of time yet.”

0=0=0=0

**Scene II: Capulet’s Garden.**

“So, Count Paris,” the Cavaliere paused for a moment to admire a rose, “you want to marry my daughter?”

“Indeed sir,” the young count, distracted by the movement of a bush glanced away from the old noble to see a gardener working on a shrub.

“Hmmm,” the old man moved on to inspect the next bush in line, “you realise my daughter is still only thirteen?”

Yes,” Paris walked slowly beside the Cavaliere and nodded his head sagely, “and you realise that by allowing this marriage you ally your family to the ruling house and is thirteen really that young? My own mother married the old Duke, my father, when she was no more than fourteen.”

“Yes, yes,” agree the Cavaliere, “that’s all very true…and my own dear wife wasn’t that much older than Juliet when we were first wed…but…”

“But?”

“But, she is our only remaining child,” explained the Cavaliere, “I feel especially obligated to ensure her a happy future.”

“Precisely,” Count Paris stopped suddenly bringing the Cavaliere to a halt, “precisely why you should expedite this marriage, good Sir Capulet. The advantages to you and your house are clear…also to the city. A marriage between myself and your daughter would no doubt bring an end to the internal strife that threatens to tear our fair city asunder!”

“Everything you say is true!” agreed Cavaliere Capulet, “Nothing would please me more than to see my daughter married and our fair city of Verona thrive in peace and take its rightful place in Italy.” The old man stroked his beard reflectively, “But I have to think of my own daughter’s welfare and…” 

The Cavaliere paused for a moment as the young count looked on hopefully.

“There is a way,” mused Capulet, “that might satisfy both our needs.”

“Which is?”

“How do you feel about a betrothal?” a crafty gleam came to Capulet’s eye, “An announcement of betrothal would give notice to all of the intention of our two great houses to become one…and…coincidently give me time to talk Juliet’s mother around to the idea of a marriage. What do you think?”

“Yes,” mused Paris, “it just might work. When would you announce such a betrothal?”

“In a week or so,” explained Capulet, “I had intended to hold a masked ball anyway, so…”

“So,” Paris smiled and nodded his head, “an announcement in front of all the most important men in Verona…”

“Except the Montegues of course,” Capulet added hastily.

“That goes without saying,” smiled Paris, “would indeed act as a sort of place holder…for now,” he added warningly.

“Indeed,” agreed Cavaliere Capulet.

0=0=0=0

**Scene III: Juliet’s suit of rooms.**

“You know, Nursie,” sighed Juliet as she gazed out from her balcony, “I sometimes think I’ll never get any cock and I’ll die an old maid.”

“Oh pish and tosh!” Nursie exclaimed as she bustled out to join her young charge, “I was nearly fifteen before I had my furrow ploughed.”

“Yes well I’m not surprised!” snapped Juliet in her annoyingly high pitched voice, “You were just a farmers daughter and of no account.”

This comment was unfair as Nursie had been (and still was) regarded as something of a local beauty and had married well to the son of the village blacksmith. It wasn’t her fault that her husband and their only child had met an untimely end and she’d not remarried. It wasn’t as if there hadn’t been anyone willing to marry her, she’d turned down many a good match.

“And you’re not too old to have Captain Faith put you across her knee and give you a good spanking, young lady!” Nursie knew how to deal with Juliet when she was in one of her petulant moods, which was most of the time.

“Sorry Nursie,” Juliet absently rubbed her behind, she still remembered the first and so far, only time the female soldier had been put to disciplining her; she wasn’t eager to relive the experience.

“Now young lady,” Nursie crossed her arms and shifted her bust into a more comfortable position, “what are you planning on wearing to the ball next Tuesday?”

“Oh,” Juliet sagged against the balcony wall at the thought of having to think and make a decision, “I don’t know…couldn’t I have something new made?”

“Not enough time, dumpling,” Nursie smiled indulgently, “we’ll have to make do. Now let’s go look at what you’ve got.”

“Oh I suppose I’ll have to wear something old,” sulked the teenager, “and be unfashionable and everyone will laugh at me and…”

Rolling her eyes heavenward Nursie tutted under her breath as the girl went on and on about how few dresses she had. Perhaps she’d ask Captain Faith to give her a good thrashing anyway; at least it would shut the spoiled little brat up for a time.

0=0=0=0

**Scene IV: A crypt in Verona’s main cemetery.**

“Romeo, Romeo,” Benvolio crept into the crypt were Romeo slept; when the sleeper didn’t move he shook his cousin’s shoulder, “come on! The sun’s gone down and I’m feeling hungry.”

“Be-shrew me Benvolio!” Romeo sat up on the lid of the tomb where he’d been sleeping, he stretched and yawned, “Leave off will you?”

“Come on!” whined Benvolio eager to be out and about; “Lets be off whoring and drinking, times a wasting.”

“What news of the fair Rosaline?” Romeo swung his legs round and jumped down from the tomb top.

“Oh, so you still have eyes only for Rosaline?” Benvolio smiled exposing sharp fangs all the while thinking what a hopeless romantic his cousin was. “My spies tell me,” actually his spies had begged for their lives as they passed on their information. “They tell me that she is abroad tonight.”

“She’s out,” Romeo turned eagerly towards Benvolio, “tonight…on the streets? How?”

“Ah, well,” Benvolio adjusted his jacket and straightened his hat, “it just so happens that, dear Rosaline was sent on an errand, and was…shall we say, delayed?”

“Ha!” Romeo picked up his own jacket and hat as he turned to his cousin, “Me-thinks this was your work, cousin?”

“Of course,” admitted Benvolio with a deep bow, “you know I’d do anything for my dear cousin Romeo.”

“Let us away then!” Romeo put his sword belt over his shoulder and headed for the door.

Following his cousin at a much more sedate pace, Benvolio shook his head in despair, ever since Romeo had been sired he’d insisted on saying things like, ‘be-shrew me’ and ‘me-thinks’, it was all very odd.

“Coming cousin!” Benvolio took the stairs up out of the crypt two at a time, he stepped out into the night; god it was good to be undead.

0=0=0=0


	3. Chapter 3

3.

**Act III, Scene I: A dark street in Verona.**

Walking quickly along the deserted street Rosaline silently cursed the lace-maker for keeping her waiting. Lady Capulet had sent her to collect the lace; which she’d simply had to have right now, some hours ago. Now the sun had gone down and when she got home she’d have to bang on the gate and hope one of the guards was sober enough to let her in.

The houses loomed over her dark and oppressive, here and there a torch or a lantern burned fitfully in the dank air, Rosaline wished she was at home in the mountains again. She’d been thinking that a lot lately, after the first excitement of living in the big city had worn off she’d become more and more homesick as the months passed.

Her father, a very distant and extremely poor cousin of the Cavaliere Capulet, had sent her to live with the Cavaliere’s family in the hopes she’d be able to find herself a rich husband. Rosaline knew she didn’t come from an important family, but she was pretty; she had a good figure and long almost black hair that tumbled like a waterfall down her back. Another of her good points was that she wasn’t a conceited little slut like that bitch Juliet; but so far the only man to show any interest in her (apart from the more forward of her uncle’s soldiers) had been that fop Romeo…and he was a Montague!

Even he’d vanished over the last week or two, Rosaline sighed as she turned into a slightly wider street. Oh how she wished that Captain Faith was a man, she laughed bitterly, it was typical of her luck that the best man in the entire household was a woman! Rosaline giggled quietly to herself as she wondered what it would be like to bed the beautiful captain no matter if she _was_ a woman.

Halting in mid stride, Rosaline turned to look behind her, she listened intently for a moment; she was sure she’d heard footsteps. Now she could hear nothing, straining her eyes to peer into the darkness; she saw nothing, it must all be her imagination. Turning in the direction of home she went back to her fantasies about the gorgeous and mysterious Captain Faith.

No, she thought, she’d never get to bed the beautiful captain, not that she would…not really. Anyway, Captain Faith had a man of her own and apart from the occasional polite word here and there she’d never shown the slightest interest in her. Except…except there had been that night when the magnificent Captain had had maybe a glass or two too much wine and she’d asked why a pretty girl like Rosaline hadn’t got herself a man. Captain Faith had put her arm around her shoulder and given her a squeeze, Jesus that woman was strong, Rosaline absently rubbed her shoulder where the captain had touched her.

Again Rosaline stopped, turned and listened, this time she was _sure_ she’d heard someone behind her. Placing her hand on the hilt of the small dagger she carried under her cloak, Rosaline turned once more and started to hurry. It wasn’t too far now, only a few hundred paces no more, then she’d be home again and woe betide any guard who was slow letting her into the house.

Turning to go down an alley Rosaline stopped dead; she looked at the passageway suspiciously. It was narrow and very dark, even so it would cut almost a third off her journey but… But it was a perfect place for an ambush. It would be easy for someone to step out of the darkness and grab her and do with her what they liked to her. No one would come to rescue her not this far from home. No, she decided, she’d take the longer way home. The streets were wider and there was the occasional light outside people’s houses, plus she was more likely to bump into the Nightwatch.

Turning she walked into a hard masculine chest.

“OH!” she stepped back her hand going to her throat in surprise, “I’m sorry sir I didn’t see…”

“Tis the fair Rosaline,” Romeo looked down at the frightened girl and felt the blood lust rise in his chest.

“Oh bloody hell!” Rosaline punched Romeo in the chest, he didn’t appear to notice, “I thought you’d left town or something,” she said angrily, “now piss off and leave me alone. I told you I’m not interested.”

“Ah!” Romeo clutched at his heart in mock pain, “You wound me with your words. Just one sweet kiss from those ruby lips and I’ll be satisfied.”

“You can kiss my sweet arse,” Rosaline neatly side stepped Romeo, “now fuck off will you?”

Walking quickly across the cobbles she heard the sound of Romeo’s boot heels on the street behind her. Pulling her dagger she turned to confront the young idiot and screamed when she saw his face.

“Not trying to play hard to get are we?” Romeo’s hand shot out and grabbed Rosaline by the throat while his other hand clutched at the wrist of the hand that held the dagger and squeezed.

Crying out in pain Rosaline dropped her knife and found herself being pulled towards the young man with the face of a monster.

“Please sir, don’t…” 

“Please don’t what?” mocked Romeo, “Hurt you?” he laughed evilly, “Of course I’m going to hurt you,” he sneered, “and I’m going to take days hurting you, only when you beg me will I give you the sweet release of death…MAW-HA….”

“Oh get a life, asshole!”

Dropping the girl Romeo turned to find himself confronted by a ‘man’ slightly shorter than himself with a drawn sword.

“How dare you disturb my nightly feeding!” Romeo’s hand flashed towards the hilt of his own sword.

Catching sight of the Montague's hand moving, Faith whipped off her hat and threw it in the man’s face just before she lunged with her sword. Smiling in satisfaction she saw the blade enter the man’s chest and sink four or five inches into his flesh. Recovering her blade Faith waited for him to gasp and collapse onto the ground, he didn’t. In fact he smiled.

“Shit,” breathed Faith as realisation dawned, “I thought I’d got rid of all you assholes when I burnt down ya nest.”

“En garde!” Romeo pulled his own rapier from its scabbard, “Me-thinks its time I gave thee a lesson in manners boy.”

“Me-thinks?” Faith easily parried Romeo’s first attack, “Only actors say ‘me-thinks’!”

The two opponent’s swords flashed together in a rapid series of cuts and thrusts which struck sparks from their blades as Faith started to get the upper hand.

“Look out!” Rosaline cried from where she cowered on the ground, “Behind you!”

Trapping Romeo’s arm under her own Faith turned and cleverly used her opponent’s sword to parry the thrust of her new attacker’s weapon. Lashing out with her booted foot she caught the second vampire between the legs. He groaned and clutched at himself as his knees gave way and he fell slowly to the ground.

Twisting in Faith’s grip Romeo tried to bring his free arm around to gouge out her eyes. Faith however, had already let go of Romeo’s sword arm, turned and plunged her blade into the vampire’s thigh.

“Swine!” gasped Romeo as his leg gave way under him and he fell to the cobbles. 

Using her left hand Faith grabbed for the stake hidden under her jacket, advancing on the wounded vampire she raised the stake to deliver the killing blow. A burning hot sensation in her chest stopped her in her tracks.

“Fuck!” she looked down to see the tip of her second opponent’s sword sticking out of the front of her jacket.

The vampire pulled his blade free with a nasty flick of the wrist that drew a yelp of pain from Faith’s lips. In a rage she turned quickly and slashed at the vampire leaving a long cut across the creature’s face. He screamed in agony and grasped at his ruined face as he staggered away from her. Clamping a hand over the wound in her chest Faith turned to see Romeo stagger to his feet and stumble off down the street in the opposite direction.

“Sir! You’re hurt!” Faith found herself being held up by Rosaline.

“I’ll be fine,” Faith grinned through her pain, “you okay?”

Rosaline smiled as she got a better grip on Faith and started to help her along the street towards the Capulet house.

“I’m well enough,” she replied, “nothing that a glass of wine won’t cure…but you?”

“Ah this is nothing,” Faith tried to sound unconcerned, “just get me to Nursie she’ll patch me up.”

0=0=0=0

When Rosaline had not come home by dark, Lady Capulet had dispatched Faith and a few of the guards to go look for the girl. Faith had struck out on her own thinking that it was all a waste of time. The girl had probably gone off with her boyfriend or something and had lost track of time; she’d like as not turn up the next day looking sheepish with some tail about getting lost in the back streets.

Seeing Rosaline with some guy Faith had, at first, thought her suspicions were correct and had just been about to high tail it out of there when she’d seen Rosaline pull her dagger. Obviously the guy’s attentions wasn’t appreciated and he wasn’t backing off. Of course she’d drawn her sword and jumped right in…Percy was right, she was too impulsive she needed to learn to control her rashness before it killed her.

0=0=0=0

“Who were those pricks?” Faith could already feel her wound start to itch, a sure sign that it was beginning to heal.

“Those ‘pricks’,” Rosaline giggled at Faith’s use of ‘soldiers’ language, “as you call them; one was Romeo the other, the one you cut across the face was Benvolio…or at least I thought they were. Their faces they were all…”

“Yeah I know,” Faith nodded, “you were lucky I came along, they're vampires.”

Faith had noticed that people in this time were more willing to accept that things like vampires and demons were real. Oddly they were less likely to believe any other reason for strange behaviour or strange monsters. Her own appearance at the city’s time of peril had generally been put down to ‘God’ having sent her. Well maybe she had been, maybe there had been some sort of plan in Buffy stabbing her and her falling off the balcony to land here…in Verona.

“I’d thought you’d killed them all.”

Although Faith was recovering by the minute and didn’t really need any help, Rosaline seemed quite happy to hold on to her, Faith groaned inwardly. No, not another one? It was an occupational hazard for the slayer in this time. All the men wanted to fight you to show how virile and tough they were. The older women disapproved of you while the younger women and girls had a crush on you. Faith shook her head wearily; it looked like she had another fan.

“Yeah so did I,” Faith admitted, “musta missed a couple. This Romeo guy, what’s his story?”

“Oh him!” Rosaline sniffed, “He fell ‘in love’ with me and followed me around everywhere. It got so I was frightened to leave the house unaccompanied. He kept sending me flowers and songbirds and awful love poems and I never once gave him any reason to think I was at all interested…after all he’s a Montague.”

Faith laughed gently at the way the girl said the name ‘Montague’, she said it almost like someone would say ‘shit’!

“Then he disappeared a couple of weeks ago,” Rosaline looked up and around, “nearly home,” she said. “So, I was quite surprised when he reappeared tonight.”

“It all fits,” Faith leant against the wall of the Capulet compound as Rosaline banged on the gate, “him and his friend likely got themselves sired. It sometimes takes a week or so for it to really take a’ hold and for them to come back.”

With a lot of squeaking of hinges the postern gate was opened and the two women were admitted into the compound.

0=0=0=0

**Scene II: Faith and Sir Percy’s lodgings at the Turk’s Head Tavern.**

A couple of hours later Faith stripped off her blood stained clothes and climbed into bed next to Sir Percy. Sure enough when Rosaline had got back to the Capulet’s house, Nursie had fused over her and the Cavaliere had flown into a rage that one of the accursed Montague’s would dare waylay a Capulet in the street (however minor that Capulet might be) and then launch a cowardly attack on a trusted servant of the household. He’d stormed off swearing vengeance after he’d checked that Faith was going to live and Rosaline hadn’t been raped. While Nursie had been fussing over Faith’s injury Lady Capulet clucked around Rosaline like a mother hen showing more concern for the girl in five minutes than she'd shown in the last five months.

“How’s that feel?” Nursie had tied off the bandage around Faith’s rib cage.

“Good,” Faith moved her arms and felt her skin pull against the wound, “thanks Nursie.”

“You be careful with that,” Nursie stood up and started to tidy away her first aid things, “you don’t want to reopen the wound.”

“I will and I won’t,” Faith smiled at the woman who seemed to enjoy mothering her so much.

“You sure you won’t stay the night?” Nursie asked already knowing the answer.

“No, thanks,” Faith carefully put her shirt and jacket back on, “I better get back to Percy.”

0=0=0=0

Now she lay in bed next to her lover and stared at the ceiling.

“How do you feel?” Percy lay on his side and watched her face by the light of the candle next to the bed.

“I’m fine,” Faith lied, she’d nearly got herself killed tonight she’d not even noticed the second vampire, Benvolio; she rolled over to face Percy wincing a little as she did so. “Percy?”

“What?”

“Plough my furrow, would ya?”

“But your wound,” Percy sounded concerned.

“Then be careful,” instructed Faith, “I just want you to shut up and plough me.”

“I’ve always said you were a strange one,” Percy smiled as he moved in to kiss Faith’s lips.

Sighing into Percy’s kiss Faith felt his hand slide over her body and come to rest on her breast; her nipples went hard almost immediately. Sometimes, she thought, before she lost herself in Percy’s passionate embrace; the only time she felt alive was when she was fighting or screwing.

0=0=0=0

**Scene III: Romeo and Benvolio’s crypt.**

Looking at the rough bandage that lay across Benvolio’s ruined face Romeo snarled angrily.

“That won’t heal,” he announced, “looks like you’ve lost the eye and you’ll be stuck with the scar.”

“All the better to scare the shit out of the bastards,” Benvolio laughed then winced and placed his hand on his face gingerly, “just get me someone to eat and I’ll be right as rain. A young nun or a fat priest would be nice.”

“Don’t worry cousin,” Romeo headed towards the door of the crypt, “I’ll get you something good, you’ll soon be up and about again.”

Walking into the night Romeo held his anger in check. It was no good charging off and attacking the Capulets just now. He would have his revenge though, something really nasty, something people would have nightmares about for years to come. A thought struck him as he walked the night looking for prey; didn’t the Capulets have a young daughter? Wouldn’t it be just delicious to sire her and let her destroy her own family?

Romeo laughed as he roamed the night dark streets of Verona, yes that would be a fitting revenge.

0=0=0=0


	4. Chapter 4

4.

**Act IV, Scene I. A forest near Verona.**

Looking out through the fog and rain Faith wondered what’d ever happened to ‘Sunny Italy’. The rain dripped off her hat and onto her riding cloak, her horse steamed in the slightly chill air and she cursed Juliet to hell and back. The morning had started pleasantly enough, sunny and bright with just a hint of autumn in the air but it had quickly turned to rain after Faith and her party had ridden from the city.

It being only a couple of days before the great masked ball Lady Capulet was sick and tired of having her daughter underfoot and she had suggested (through gritted teeth) that the girl might like to go for a ride in the country. Of course Faith, being responsible for Juliet’s virginity, had had to go as well. The thought of being in the teenager’s company for most of the day was mitigated by the presence of, Tybalt (Juliet’s older cousin) and Rosaline who'd volunteered to come along. 

If the truth was told, Tybalt and Rosaline had been making ‘cow-eyes’ at each other since Faith rescued the girl from Romeo’s toothsome clutches about a week before. Faith frowned at the thought of what the young couple were likely doing right that minute. They’d probably found a nice dry, warm barn somewhere; Rosaline almost certainly had her hand down Tybalt’s britches while he would have his up her skirts!

Fuming, rather like her horse, Faith wished she was somewhere warm and dry with Percy; but instead she was sitting out here in the wet looking for that stupid little bitch Juliet. It was so tempting to just turn her horse around, ride back to Verona, screw Percy to within an inch of his life and tell the Capulet’s to screw their job; she’d end up unemployed but at least she’d be warm, dry and well and truly ploughed.

0=0=0=0

**Scene II. A Forrester’s cottage.**

To the north of Verona, just where the river plain started to rise towards the mountains, stood a large dark forest. In fact the forest stretched far away into the mountains, but the part that interests us was within half a morning’s ride of Verona and was owned by Count Paris’ father.

No more than a mile into the forest lived, Nevio Bruno with his wife Lalia and their young daughter Mimi. Nevio worked as a forester for the old Duke, he tended a few pigs, a cow and grew vegetables in his garden behind his neat little cottage. The Bruno’s were an undistinguished family, the sort you could see on their way to church on any Sunday almost anywhere in Italy; they were liked by their neighbours and admired as a hard working and loving couple. Yes, they were unremarkable in all ways except one…Nevio his wife and even their little girl were Werebears.

This had never bothered the old Duke; in fact he saw it as something of an advantage. Not only was Nevio a good forester whose wife made excellent sausages, but, who in their right mind would dare kill one of the Duke’s deer when the forester was likely to turn into a bear and tear you apart? Only the terminally stupid.

The type of werebear-ness that afflicted the Bruno family did not, in fact, allow them to turn into bears at will, whatever the locals might say. On the day of the full moon, plus the day before and after it the Bruno family turned into their bear guise both day and night. They did, however, retain the ability to talk and think like humans although they were all prone to fly into a rage when angered; this was one of the reasons they kept themselves very much to themselves around ‘their time of the month’.

“Porridge again?” growled Nevio as he watched the steaming oatmeal in the wooden bowl before him.

“Well what do you expect?” began his wife testily (and for about the thousandth time). “How am I supposed to cook with paws instead of hands eh?” she put down the porridge saucepan with a crash, before calling out the door, “Come-on Mimi…lunch is on the table.”

The little bear-girl ran in from outside where she’d been playing and chasing the chickens. She wore a grey homespun dress over a white blouse; she had a pink ribbon tied in a bow on the top of her head between her ears. In fact all the Bruno’s wore clothes, Mrs Bruno insisted on it. She wore a dress and blouse much like her daughter’s but instead of a bow she wore a bight red scarf over her head and tied under her chin. Nevio wore only a pair of brown leather trousers held up with a wide leather belt.

Carefully picking up his spoon in his paw-like hands Nevio manoeuvred a spoonful of porridge into his mouth.

“AAAAAGH!” he screamed spraying the table with globules of scalding hot porridge, Mimi giggled at her papa’s antics, “Good Go…” Nevio managed to stop himself from blaspheming, he also caught the look his wife was giving him and thought it best not to antagonise her any more than necessary. “Where did you cook this?” he demanded, “Vesuvius?”

“What’s wrong with it?” Lalia looked suspiciously from her husband to her own bowl of porridge, gingerly she took a small glob on the end of her spoon and put it in her mouth, “OH!” she exclaimed in surprise, “That’s so hot!”

For a moment the family sat in silence pondering what to do about their scalding hot porridge. Decision making wasn’t easy when you were half bear, half human.

“We could go for a walk,” suggested Mimi, her younger mind often functioned better than her parent's in their bear state.

Nodding and pushing their chairs away from the table the two adult werebears stood up and agreed that a short walk would be just the thing. It’d probably do them the world of good and allow time for their lunch to cool. Little Mimi jumped down from her stool and then grabbing her rag doll skipped gaily out of the cottage door scattering chickens as she went.

Deep in the forest, not too far away, something stirred.

0=0=0=0

**Scene III. The forest and the forester’s cottage.**

Stirring uncomfortably in her saddle, Juliet let her horse pick its own path through the forest. She’d thought she’d been so clever when she’d given Tybalt, Rosaline and that awful Captain Faith the slip earlier in the day. Juliet planned on finding a young, handsome woodsman or some other rude mechanic and spend the day in a hayloft somewhere. Unfortunately woodsmen, handsome or otherwise, appeared to be a trifle thin on the ground; while warn, dry barns were non-existent. 

Her life was just not living up to expectations and she was beginning to despair of ever losing her virginity. Well, she corrected herself, lose her virginity with a man, she’d actually lost it using a candle when she was nine. Luckily the burns hadn’t been too serious and Nursie hadn’t noticed anything amiss. Even so she squirmed in her saddle a little at the memory.

What had started out as a rip-roaring adventure was typically turning into reality. It had started to rain which made her cold, damp and now hungry. Her rumbling tummy told her it was about lunch time and Rosaline had the food hamper tied to the saddle of her horse and now she thought she was lost as well. Starting out of her self-inflicted misery, Juliet found herself in an open area devoid of trees. Hearing chickens clucking close by she turned her head to see a neat little cottage to one side of the clearing.

“Oh, how quaint,” she slipped from her saddle, and then gathering her red riding cloak around herself she made her way over to the open front door. “Hello?” she cried into the kitchen that appeared to take up most of the ground floor, there was no answer.

Stepping into the semi-dark of the house Juliet immediately found her way over to the kitchen range and warmed her hands. After a few moments spent getting the feeling back into her extremities she turned to survey the room. Her eyes fell almost immediately on the three steaming bowls sitting on the table. Walking over she looked down her elegant nose at the porridge.

“Oatmeal,” she said with distaste as memories of Nursie trying to get her to eat oatmeal when she was little came flooding back to her mind.

Her tummy rumbled loudly wanting to be fed.

“Oh, I suppose beggars can’t be choosers,” reluctantly she tried a spoonful from the biggest bowl and spat it out almost immediately, “YUCK!” she cried, “Too salty.”

She moved on to the medium sized bowl and once again took a spoonful.

“OH! DOUBLE YUCK!” again she spat out the offending porridge, this time it was too sweet; whoever’s porridge it was had emptied a jar of honey into it, or so it seemed to Juliet.

More in hope than expectation she tried the porridge in the smallest bowl, Juliet nodded her head, “Just right,” she smiled and sat down and scraped the bowl clean.

0=0=0=0

After her meal Juliet yawned hugely, the exertions of the day plus the porridge were making her tired. Looking for somewhere to take a nap she tried out the chairs arranged around the open fire at the other end of the room. The big chair was too hard while the medium chair was too soft. The smallest chair was just right but unfortunately hadn’t been built to withstand her weight. It creaked and groaned before depositing her in an undignified heap on the floor.

“Bother!” she picked herself up and dusted herself down; as she did so her eyes fell on a ladder leading through a hatch in the ceiling, “I wonder where that leads?” she asked herself.

Climbing the ladder she found herself in a long room under the roof. There were three beds. Even to Juliet’s rather simple mind (usually only concerned with pretty dresses and losing her virginity) the ‘three’ of everything was starting to get through to her. However she didn’t think anything amiss so she started to try out the beds.

Once more the big bed was too hard, the middle bed was too soft, while the little bed was just right and Juliet quickly fell asleep.

0=0=0=0

Sniffing the air Nevio shambled into the kitchen, his bear senses were telling him something was amiss. He sniffed around the kitchen while his wife stood in the doorway with a protective arm resting on her daughter’s shoulder.

“What’s wrong?” Lalia wanted to know.

“There’s a strange scent in here,” rumbled Nevio, “can’t tell whether its friend or foe.”

“Whatever,” Lalia pushed Mimi through the door, “we can’t stand about outside all day. Mimi you go wash your paws and sit down at the table while I…”

“Whose been eating my porridge?” growled Nevio as he pointed to his bowl.

“Well, don’t look at me,” his wife bustled over to the table and looked at her own bowl. “Oh my!” she gasped, “Someone’s been eating my porridge too!”

“Mama!” cried Mimi who had left off washing her paws and come to see what all the fuss was about, “Someone’s been eating my porridge too, an-and they’ve eaten it all up!”

A big tear appeared in Mimi’s eye.

“There, there,” Lalia rushed over to comfort her daughter, “don’t cry, mama will make you some fresh…with berries and cream.” 

Slightly mollified the girl bear walked over to where the family’s chairs stood. Very soon the air was rent by a cry as the little girl bear found her chair (that her papa had made especially for her) in pieces on the floor.

“OH MY!” cried Mama Bruno as she tried to comfort her sobbing little girl, she turned to her husband, “Robbers?”

“No,” Nevio sniffed at his own and his wife’s chair, “do you think robbers would come here?”

It was a fact, robbers would have to be monumentally stupid to rob the home of a family of werebears. The three Bruno’s looked up at the ceiling where they could just hear gentle snoring drifting down from their sleeping chamber. Papa Bruno lead the way over to the ladder followed by his wife and lastly by his daughter who was still dabbing at her tear stained eyes. Slowly he started to climb the ladder.

0=0=0=0

Shifting in the comfy little bed, Juliet yawned and stretched. She felt quite refreshed after her little nap and thought herself quite able to face the rigours of the ride home. Stretching again she opened her eyes and screamed at the three bears who peered in at her from the foot of the bed (the bears having gone through the entire ‘who’s been sleeping in my bed’ rigmarole already).

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!” screamed Juliet as she tried to scramble off the bed and away from the bears.

“GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!” said the largest and most vicious looking of the bears as he lumbered around the bed reaching with a forepaw towards the girl.

“Get her!” cried Mrs Bruno helpfully to her husband.

“Give her what for, Papa!” added the littlest Bruno.

Completely missing this byplay between the Bruno’s, all Juliet could see were three ravening bears trying to grab her and eat her. With a speed and agility that would have surprised everyone who knew her, Juliet made a dash for the window. Only just ahead of the lead bear she made it through the window and out onto the roof. Sitting down she slid on her bottom towards the edge where she closed her eyes and jumped.

Finding herself on the ground outside the house Juliet looked up to see the three angry bears snarling at her from the upstairs window. Climbing unsteadily to her feet Juliet looked around in alarm. Her horse was gone! The stupid animal had obviously wandered off, she panicked, or had it been eaten by the bears!?

“After her!” shouted Mama Bruno as the family made a mad dash for the ladder.

“Bite her head off Papa!” advised Mimi rather bloodthirstily; after all it had been her porridge that had been eaten. Her chair that had been broken and her bed slept in! What if the nasty blonde haired thief had fleas or lice?

Rushing out the door the Bruno family were just in time to see the golden haired bandit disappear into the woods.

“Now we have her!” Nevio headed off into the woods after the girl.

No one could evade him for long, not in these woods, why he knew the place like the back of his paw…and when he found the flaxen-haired crook he intended to give her a damn good thrashing!

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	5. Chapter 5

5.

**Act V, Scene I. The forest.**

“HELP!” screamed Juliet as she ran through the forest pursued by several bears.

With a speed fuelled by terror she was just keeping ahead of the wild slavering beasts that chased after her between the trees. Why did these things always happen to her, she moaned to herself, as she dodged between clumps of undergrowth and fallen tree trunks. It was so unfair!

“HELP!” she gasped again, she wasn’t used to this type of exertion and her breath came in short gasps.

Why wasn’t there ever a gallant knight when she needed one, her terrified mind wondered. Someone to rescue her and maybe relieve her of her damn virginity while he was at it!

0=0=0=0

**Scene II. Another part of the forest.**

“Help!”

The cry came from deeper in the woods and Faith brought her horse to a halt and tried to get a firm fix on its direction. Her sharp slayer ears picked up the sound of someone running through the forest followed by several big and powerful some-things. The ‘someone’ just had to be Juliet; Faith shook her head resignedly and turned her horse’s head towards the noise.

Making a clicking noise between her teeth Faith urged the animal towards where she thought the running person would be and drew her sword ready for action. Knowing Juliet she’d probably need it in a hurry. Her horse obviously didn’t like what it could smell as it tossed its head and snorted but Faith urged it on through the undergrowth. Suddenly something burst from the bushes to her right; twisting in her saddle Faith pulled back on her reins and raised her sword ready to strike.

“OH! Save me good Sir Knight!” cried Juliet as she fell melodramatically against Faith’s horse and clutched hold of her leg, “I am sore beset by a terrible monster,” looking up she pointed back into the forest, only then did realise who she was talking to. “Oh its you.” Her face fell and she let go of Faith’s leg as if it was red hot. “Look,” gasped Juliet with much bosom heaving (after all, there was a lot of bosom to be heaved), “there’s a whole pack of bears out to eat me, you’d better save me or Papa will be cross.”

Once more Faith toyed with the idea of just turning around and riding back to Verona, let the bears eat the stupid girl she probably deserved it. Telling herself that she could grab Percy and be outta town before anyone was any the wiser…however she had her duty. Sighing Faith climbed down from the back of her increasingly agitated horse, she pulled her dagger and waited weapons in both hands ready to face whatever was out to eat Juliet, after all it was her duty to save the creature from indigestion.

Hearing the monster crash through the undergrowth long before she could see it Faith turned slightly to face the creature’s charge. Worryingly she could also hear at least one other, possibly two creatures a little further off. Oh well, Faith thought, let’s deal with the fuckers as they come, no need to worry about maybes.

With a roar the first monster burst from the bushes, it was the biggest bear Faith had ever seen (not that she’d seen that many but it was still ‘big’). It stood on its hind legs and snarled and growled as it made its way towards Faith who was standing in front of Juliet. On seeing the monster bear Juliet screamed and fell into a dead faint, arranging herself tastefully on the forest floor as she fell (you never know, was her thought, someone with a penis might still happen by).

Moving lightly, or as lightly as she could in her riding boots, Faith danced in and stabbed the bear half a dozen times in the chest before it’d even had a chance to react. The bear roared in pain and clutched at its wounds before falling to its knees. It swayed from side to side as it looked up pleadingly at Faith with almost human eyes. Striking once more Faith buried the first two feet of her rapier’s blade in the bear’s chest. It whimpered and gasped as blood started to drip from its mouth.

Putting her booted foot on the bear’s chest Faith heaved on her sword trying to pull it from the bear’s body. Just as it was starting to come free something big and heavy and most of all, angry, hit her from the side. In one terrifying moment of horror Faith was aware of teeth, claws, fur and oddly, cloth. Faith grappled with this new monster as it tried to wrap its fore paws around her and crush the life out of her. Using her right arm to push the new bear’s snout away from her face she stabbed repeatedly with the dagger held in her left hand.

Feeling the bear’s hot blood spill over her hand at every jab of her long dagger, she became aware that the bear’s grip on her was lessening. Turning in the creature's weakening grasp Faith stabbed up under the bear’s ribcage. Using all her slayer strength she pushed the dagger home until the creature seemed to freeze before falling slowly to the ground. The weight of the bear’s body pulled the dagger’s blade free and Faith stood bloodied and panting over her latest conquests. Smiling she glanced over her shoulder to see Juliet climbing to her feet with a rather disappointed frown on her face.

“Fuck her,” muttered Faith as she turned to look once more at the dead bears.

It was only then that something struck her as odd about the bears, something wasn’t quite right. Okay, she thought as she walked over to retrieve her sword from the first bear, she didn’t know much about bears, she’d never been one for watching documentaries on the Discovery channel back home, but… But she was almost sure bears didn’t wear clothes, at least not in real life. Yogi-bear wore that collar and tie with the silly hat…she scratched her head, what was that all about? Faith shook her head in confusion as she looked more closely at the dead bears. The big bear was wearing a pair of trousers held up with a big wide belt while the not so big bear wore a typical country dress, the sort any farmer’s wife might wear, and a red head scarf. Faith’s heart began to sink, these weren’t normal bears…okay, she tried to reassure herself, they were probably evil and needed killing and they were chasing Juliet and… Faith turned to look at the girl who was now looking pretty pleased with herself as if she’d killed the hungry monsters who’d been chasing her all by herself. Faith began to open her mouth to ask what had happened when...

“Mama? Papa?”

Faith dropped into a fighting crouch and turned to face her new foe. At first she couldn’t see any new threat until she dropped her gaze a little, she gasped.

“No…” Faith straightened up and took a step away from the small bear. “No…this can’t be right!”

Taking another step away from the little bear Faith’s mind tried to come to grips with what she was seeing, it rejected everything. Evil monster bears didn’t wear clothes like a farmer and his wife did. Faith took in the small bears dress, the way she clutched at the rag doll in its paws, the way that big glistening tears rolled down her face to splash on the ground. It was only when her eyes fell on the now bedraggled pink ribbon between the little bear’s ears did Faith finally snap.

“What did you do?” Faith turned on Juliet and pointed the bloody dagger that she still held in her hand at the girl.

“What…?” Juliet tried to take a step away from Faith but was brought up short by a tree, “W-What do you mean,” Juliet looked worried, she didn’t know how but she’d obviously upset the female soldier in some way, “what did I do?”

“You did something to make these…these an…people chase after you,” Faith glanced over her shoulder to see the little bear shaking her mother’s shoulder as if trying to wake her up. 

“WHAT DID YOU DO!?” Faith found herself with her arm across Juliet’s chest and her dagger at the girl’s throat, visions of the deputy mayor swam before her eyes in place of the terrified girl.

“I-I was h-hungry,” stammered Juliet her frightened eyes darted from one side to another as she looked for an escape route, “I-I found this l-little cottage and…”

“You decided to help yourself to these people’s food, huh?” Faith tightened her grip on Juliet and pricked her throat with the point of the knife.

“Yes! Yes!” exclaimed Juliet still not quite understanding what she’d done wrong, “I ate their stupid porridge…what of it?”

“You stupid little bitch!” Faith pushed the girl away from her and onto the ground, she spat in disgust, “You still don’t get it, do ya?”

“Get it?” Juliet looked up into Faith’s eyes, sometimes this woman’s speech was difficult to follow and when Papa found out what had happened to his little princess…well. She’d be lucky to get out of Verona alive!

Dropping her dagger amongst the forest litter Faith sat down heavily and buried her face in her hands; she’d thought she’d got over the whole killing the deputy mayor by accident thing. Okay, she’d killed one or two other people, she’d tried to kill Buffy’s tame vamp but he wasn’t really people. But then she’d only been obeying orders, she’d loved Mayor Wilkins like the father she’d never had, she would’ve done anything for him. Of course she realised now that that probably wasn’t the ‘right’ thing to do…but, he’d loved her just like a dad should love his daughter. She’d thought she could forget, get over it somehow.

The little bear charged at her and Faith caught her in her arms before she made full contact. The bear-child struggled in Faith’s grip, her small claws and her milk teeth having little effect on Faith’s leather jerkin. Slowly the girl-bear’s struggles weakened and she collapsed sobbing into Faith’s arms. Hugging the child Faith rocked her back and forth.

“Ssh-ssh,” she whispered in the girl’s ear, “I’m sorry I…I didn’t…” I didn’t mean to kill your parents; was that what she was going to say?

Maybe it would be best to kill the bear-child now, Faith told herself, it would be kinder in the long run, better than to leave her here alone in the woods to starve or be eaten by wolves or something. Faith started to reach for the knife she kept in her boot. The kid would never know, she’d be dead before she even knew something was wrong; Faith knew just where to stab to make it instantiations, painless. Her hand froze half way to her boot at the sound of approaching hoof beats.

0=0=0=0

**Scene III. The Cavaliere Capulet’s house.**

“There-there, lambkin,” cooed Nursie as she sat next to Faith and put her arm around the younger woman’s shoulder, “You shouldn’t take on so…you weren’t to know.”

Faith looked away from Nursie’s concerned face and wiped the tears from her eyes then looked back and tried to smile at her friend. 

 

Just before she’d had a chance to pull the knife and kill the bear-child, Tybalt and Rosaline had ridden up leading Juliet’s horse behind them. They’d been out looking for Faith and Juliet when they’d come across the horse. Tybalt had tracked the animal back to the bear’s cottage and then they had started to search the nearby woods. It was pure chance that they’d found Faith when they did.

Of course Juliet had tried to give her version of events which made Faith look like the villain of the peace. Rosaline, the memory of Faith rescuing her from the vampire Romeo still fresh in her mind, didn’t believe a word of what Juliet said; she’d slapped the girl’s face and told her to shut up.

Over Juliet’s dire threats of what her father would do to them all, Tybalt told his cousin to shut up. The girl’s mouth had snapped shut with and audible click as her teeth met. Tybalt questioned everyone, including the surviving werebear, after which he said it was clear what had happened here and it was plainly Juliet’s fault! He would tell this to his Uncle, the Cavaliere Capulet; and he would be believed. He was Lady Capulet’s nephew and everyone knew what a lying little bitch Juliet was…even her father.

While all this was going on Rosaline had taken care of the bear-girl explaining that she knew of the family of werebears. This was near where she had lived before being sent by her father to live in the Capulet household, she knew of a childless couple who lived nearby who’d be happy to take in the child; even if she did turn into a bear three days out of the month.

0=0=0=0

Although everything had been put, if not right, then at least better than it could have been. The child would live, and maybe one day Faith would forgive herself, in the mean time she would try and do better, she felt Nursie stir beside her as she stood up.

“Faith?”

Looking up Faith saw it was Cavaliere Capulet; he stood in front of her waiting for her to notice him.

“Sir!” Faith jumped to her feet, “I’ll get my stuff and get outta here.”

“Why?” Capulet looked slightly confused.

“I thought…” began Faith only to see Capulet smile and nod his head.

“Yes, yes that unfortunate business in the forest,” Capulet scratched his chin, “my wife’s nephew explained everything to me…you shouldn’t blame yourself Captain; and why would I want you to leave when I have an important job for you.”

“You do?” it was Faith’s turn to sound confused.

“Yes,” Capulet coughed into his fist to cover the smile that threatened to split his face, “My wife and I have decided that Juliet should marry Count Paris as soon as possible. In the mean time it still falls to me to discipline my daughter, but my arm isn’t what it once was, so…” he held out a willow switch to Faith. “As a trusted officer of this household I thought you might be the perfect person to perform the task!”

Placing the switch into Faith’s numbed hand Capulet smiled once more at Faith, nodded to Nursie and turned and headed for the door. All was silent for a moment, until Nursie eventually spoke;

“Well I never,” she breathed quietly before turning to Faith with a wide grin on her face. “I’ll hold her down while you beat her!” 

Faith swished the cane through the air a couple of times, “Let’s go tame the shrew.” 

The two women started towards Juliet’s suit, “All’s well that ends well!” Nursie giggled and rubbed her hands together in anticipation, she was going to enjoy this!

0=0=0=0


	6. Chapter 6

6.

**Act VI, Scene I. A dark and dank street in Verona.**

_“Let the back and sides go bare,”_ sang Romeo and Benvolio as they weaved down the rain wet street arm in arm. _“Let the hands and feet go cold. Give to the belly wine enough, Whether it be new or old!”_

The two prostitutes that laughed and sang with them thought themselves extremely lucky to have snared two such young and obviously rich (although a little pale) noblemen. They were already counting the gold they’d be taking away tonight; they little knew that at some point during the evening’s festivities they were due for a very nasty surprise. Turning a corner the little group of revellers almost collided with an older couple and their retainers heading in the opposite direction.

“Out of my way!” demanded the man, a rich and important leader of the Guild of Carriage makers.

“Ho-ho!” laughed Romeo, he turned to Benvolio and smiled evilly, “What have we here that demands that we stand aside?”

“I know you,” the guild leader took a step towards Romeo; “you’re Romeo the son of that dog Montague!”

The guildsman, whose name was Calogero, had no love for the Montague’s. They were always late paying their bills unlike the Cavaliere Capulet who paid his bills at the end of each month like clockwork.

“Son of a dog am I?” Romeo drew his sword followed a moment later by Benvolio.

The prostitutes screamed, little knowing that their lives had just been saved, and huddled together in a nearby doorway; Calogero’s retainers advanced swords and cudgels in hand to defend their employer. The fight was swift and bloody, the result was inevitable when one side couldn’t be killed by normal means. By the time Romeo and Benvolio stood over the bodies of their opponents the prostitutes had run off down the street judging correctly that it would be much safer for them to be elsewhere.

“Damn!” cursed Benvolio as he looked longingly in the direction the two women had taken, “There goes the entertainment for the night.”

“Have no fear, cousin,” Romeo bent to search through the guildsman’s clothing.

He threw a purse of coins to Benvolio just before he reached inside Calogero’s blood soaked doublet and drew forth a piece of parchment with neat lettering on it.

“What do we have here?” Romeo stood up as he read the parchment his vampire eyes having no trouble picking out the writing in the darkness of the street.

“Cousin?” Benvolio left off counting the gold in the ex-guildsman’s purse and tried to read over Romeo’s shoulder.

“It seems,” announced Romeo happily, “that the evening isn’t spoilt after all.”

“How so?” Benvolio put the purse away under his jacket.

“By chance we appear to have stumbled on some good fortune,” Romeo held up the parchment for Benvolio to see.

“You’re starting to sound like an actor again,” warned Benvolio, “you sure you haven’t eaten one or something?”

“Nay!” Romeo laughed at the very idea of eating an actor, “But here see…an invitation to the Capulet’s Masked Ball!”

“Oh, that does sound like…fun,” Benvolio’s face dropped he’d thought Romeo had found something good.

“Think, Cousin!” Romeo put his arm around Benvolio’s shoulder and started to steer him towards the Capulet’s house, “All the enemies of our House under one roof…defenceless…and ripe for the killing!”

“True,” agreed Benvolio a smile slowly spreading across his hideously scared face, “and who knows, you may bump into the luscious Rosaline?”

0=0=0=0

**Scene II. Juliet’s suite of rooms.**

 _“A blacksmith courted me, nine months or better,”_ sang Nursie as she laced Faith into her dress, _“With his hammer in his hand, he looked so clever, and if I was with my love I’d live forever.”_

“Is that about your husband?” asked Faith as she fidgeted under Nursie’s ministrations.

“Sort of,” agreed Nursie as she pulled a lace tight and extracted a pained gasp from Faith.

“How’re you ‘sposed to breath in these things?” Faith hung on to a bed post while Nursie put her foot in the small of her back and pulled the bodice of her dress tightly closed.

“Young ladies of good breeding don’t need to breathe, dear,” announced Nursie sagely.

“Yeah-right,” agreed Faith, “that bit…in the song about ‘his hammer’. Is that one of those,” Faith frowned for a moment as she tried to think of the word she wanted. “Erm, y’know? Euphemism things coz he’s got a big dic…”

“Yes dear,” interrupted Nursie, “that’s right.” Tying off the last lace she stood back to admire her handiwork, “Turn around and let me see what you look like.”

Turning with all the grace of a sack of root vegetables Faith stood and faced Nursie.

“Come on my girl,” Nursie crossed her arms under her ample bosom, “I know you can move with more grace than that; stop slouching, stand up straight.” 

Nursie smiled as Faith did as she was told.

“That’s better,” she started to pass Faith’s weapons to her.

Daggers disappeared hidden by the folds of her dress and finally a slim wooden stake vanished down her bodice between her breasts.

“There,” Faith wriggled about trying to settle her weapons and her dress more comfortably in place, “good to go.”

“Right,” Nursie beamed, “you go out and let Sir Percy see what you can look like.”

“Percy!” gasped Faith, “No way, he’s not seeing me like…!”

Nursie propelled Faith towards the door and out into the main part of Juliet’s suit which they’d taken over for the night; Juliet was being dressed by her mother’s maids that night.

0=0=0=0

Standing framed in the doorway between rooms Faith watched as Percy turned away from the window at the sound of her approach. She saw the smile spread across her lover’s face and took it completely the wrong way.

“If you laugh,” she warned, “if you diss me in anyway, you’ll not see my sweet ass for weeks!” Faith considered this statement, “Well, maybe days…”

Reconsidering yet again Faith weighed up the pros and cons, Percy was a very good and considerate lover. So, cutting off his access to her body was really punishing herself; she frowned as she tried to work out what dire threat she could hold over him; she came up blank.

“Whatever…” she mumbled defeated.

“Soft!” Percy crossed the room in three quick steps to go down on one knee in front of her, “What light through yonder portal shines; tis the east and Faith is the sun!”

“Get lost,” Faith felt embarrassed and about ten as she shuffled her feet, she thought she ought to say something about Percy. “You don’t look so bad y’self.”

Looking down at Percy, Faith had to congratulate herself on finding and more importantly keeping this guy. He was handsome enough in his everyday clothes, but tonight he was dressed up in all his finery.

“I am merely the moon to your sun,” he stood up and offered her his arm; “shall we go?”

“Sure,” Faith rested her hand on top of his as he led her towards the door, secretly she loved it when he went all ‘goofy’ like this; it made her feel like a real lady.

0=0=0=0

**Scene III. The Capulet’s ballroom.**

Standing next to her mother in the ballroom, Juliet reflected on how unfair life had been to her. Still feeling the effects of the beating Faith had given her the previous day she turned stiffly to watch Rosaline and Tybalt sneak out of the ballroom.

“Lucky bitch,” she cursed under her breath.

Turning back to greet yet another guest Juliet looked away to see Faith and Sir Percy walk into the room.

“Whore,” Juliet muttered quietly.

It seemed everyone was getting ‘some’ apart from her. Her poor, country bumpkin cousin had snagged Tybalt; even that bitch-cow of a female soldier had managed to grab herself a handsome lover. Juliet could always tell when Faith’d had been ploughed; she always arrived in the mornings with a big self satisfied grin on her face. It was just so sickening particularly when she, the daughter of the house didn’t get to see any cock from one month to the next…and then to have the common whore beat her…the indignity of it all…and the street-slut had poisoned Nursie against her too. 

Oh, how she would make them all pay!

Even her father was intent on selling her like a brood mare to Count Paris, Juliet clenched her fists in anger; it was all that bitch-whore-street-slut’s fault. Everything had been fine until she’d turned up, now…now it was all too much to bear; if only she had a champion who’d take her part and maybe supply a little nocturnal entertainment.

0=0=0=0

Standing in the corner of the ballroom with their masks firmly over their faces Romeo and Benvolio watched the arriving guests with interest. They’d had no trouble getting past the guards at the front gate, even if their invitation had been a little blood stained. They’d walked unhindered across the threshold…after all they had an invitation, now they eyed all the happy guests as they milled about waiting for the party proper to begin.

Walking across the room Romeo kept a look out for Rosaline, he had plans for that girl which would include her slow, painful death; he was looking forward to that. Benvolio’s plans were not so focused, any attractive young girl would satisfy his blood lust and by the looks of things he’d have plenty to choose from tonight; he laughed quietly.

A small orchestra at the far end of the room started to play and couples began to sort themselves out ready for the first dance of the evening. Romeo watched the crowd still looking for Rosaline, who was nowhere to be seen. As he looked at the masked faces of the guests he felt an odd sensation between his shoulder blades. A sort of prickling, nagging feeling that being here tonight might not have been such a good idea after all.

However, all thoughts of caution where cast from his mind when his eyes fell on the figure of Juliet who was standing by her mother greeting the last few guests.

“Hey, noney-noney!” gasped Romeo, he lifted his arm to lie across Benvolio’s chest bringing him to a halt, “Look at the knockers on her!”

“Where?” Benvolio asked while simultaneously rolling his eyes.

Romeo nodded in Juliet’s direction and Benvolio followed his gaze until…

“Gods below!” Benvolio gasped in sympathy with Romeo’s earlier statement, “They’re fucking huge! She's not seen her feet since she was eleven me-thinks.”

“I must have her,” all thoughts of Rosaline forgotten Romeo started to make his way across the room towards Juliet.

“Hold hard!” Benvolio grabbed hold of Romeo’s arm bringing him to a halt, “D’you know who that is?”

“I don’t know and I don’t care,” Romeo tried to loosen Benvolio’s grip on his arm, “I’ve got to have her!”

“That’s Juliet,” whispered Benvolio frantically in Romeo’s ear, “old Capulet’s only daughter.”

“Even better,” Romeo laughed nastily and turned to look at his friend, “what better way of starting our campaign of death and despair on the House of Capulet than by taking Capulet’s only daughter from him?”

Benvolio thought this through for a moment, “Yes,” he finally agreed, “I see your point, let’s get at it!”

0=0=0=0

**Scene IV. The gardens outside the ballroom.**

“Hmmm…get off!” Rosaline pushed Tybalt’s hand away from her breast.

“But my love!” complained Tybalt, he was confused, Rosaline had never complained before, he took a step away from the girl, “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s ‘wrong’,” she replied with infuriating female logic, “it’s just…” she hesitated for a moment before continuing, “...it’s just…well I want to know what your intentions to me are?”

“Intentions?” frowned Tybalt, his intentions had been to get this girl into his bed by the end of the evening; luckily his brain stopped him from saying this out loud.

“Yes, intentions,” Rosaline started to fan herself with her mask, “look I might be nothing but a poor country girl, but I’m not stupid. I know you want to end the evening between my thighs…”

“I do,” agreed Tybalt, then realising what he’d just said he changed the tone of his voice, “I mean ‘I do’?”

“Yes you do!” Rosaline fanned herself harder, “But that’s only going to happen after I’ve had a promise of marriage off you.”

“Oh well,” laughed Tybalt, “if that’s all it takes I’d…”

“In front of witnesses,” Rosaline stopped fanning herself and crossed her arms over her chest.

“Oh!” Tybalt looked at Rosaline astonished; this girl was indeed no fool.

“I’m waiting.”

“Yes, my dear,” Tybalt could imagine her tapping her foot under her gown waiting for his reply.

He had to think, did he really want to marry this girl? His body said yes while his mind said ‘hmm, well, maybe.’ Yes; she was young and attractive. Yes; she had a pleasant manner and she wasn’t a spoilt bitch like Juliet. But; she was only the daughter of a poor farmer who’d sent his daughter away to find a rich husband. Tybalt scratched the back of his head while Rosaline watched him carefully. Damn it all, he thought, he could do worse. His parents could make him marry some dim-witted little bitch who’d make his life a misery…he was over twenty-one he could make his own decisions.

“Yes,” he said finally.

“Yes?” Rosaline stood and looked at him unsure what he was saying ‘yes’ about.

“You’re quite right,” Tybalt breathed in deeply, “Mistress Rosaline, I love thee and I wish to marry thee…if you say yes I’ll speak to your uncle right this moment!”

“You will?” Rosaline’s eyes grew wide with surprise; she’d half expected him to say he wouldn’t marry her, that he’d just wanted her for a little sport while they lived under the same roof.

“Will you?” Tybalt took Rosaline’s hand.

“Will I what?” Rosaline relied in confusion.

“Marry me?”

“Of course!” Rosaline threw herself into Tybalt’s arms and kissed him passionately.

0=0=0=0

**Scene V. The ballroom (again).**

“Uncle!” Tybalt led Rosaline by the hand across the ballroom floor, “I have something important to ask…”

Something caught Tybalt’s eye as he came to a halt next to the elder Capulet.

“Who’s that talking to Juliet?” Tybalt pointed across the room to where Juliet was in deep discussion with a young nobleman.

“I don’t know,” Capulet looked in the direction Tybalt indicated, “some young gallant I expect.”

“I know who that is!” Tybalt’s hand started to reach for the hilt of his sword, “That’s that dog Romeo of the House of Montague!”

“The hell you say!?” Capulet stood to one side as Tybalt drew his blade, “Guards! Guards!” cried the old man.

“What’s going on?” demanded Faith appearing like magic by the old nobleman’s side; something had felt wrong to her all evening it had been prevening her from giving Percy the attention he deserved…these masked balls were little more than an excuse for debauchery (not that Faith needed much of an excuse where Percy was concerned).

0=0=0=0

“Bugger!” muttered Romeo as he watched the guards start to move towards him scattering guests in all directions.

“If you like,” giggled Juliet misunderstanding Romeo’s comment.

The guards had Romeo surrounded now, not that Juliet appeared to notice, so, he thought, they couldn’t kill him but it would spoil his plan if he had to fight now.

“Erm,” he turned his attention back to Juliet, “I’m sorry my dear but I think I have to go now.”

“You do?” Juliet noticed the circle of guards for the first time, “OH!”

“Be gone Montague scum!” Tybalt pocked Romeo in the chest with his sword.

There was a rustling of dress material as Faith swept across the dance floor as fast as her skirts would allow.

“Yeah,” she pulled the stake from between her breasts just enough for Romeo to see, “like he said ‘be gone’.”

“Psst!” hissed Juliet.

Dragging his eyes away from Faith, Romeo turned to look at Juliet.

“Come to my balcony later,” she whispered, “it’s the one that overlooks the orchard at the back of the house…now be gone!”

“I go!” announced Romeo dramatically starting towards the door.

“Yeah!” called Faith after the retreating vampire, “An' don’t come back!”

0=0=0=0


	7. Chapter 7

7.

**Act VII, Scene I. The orchard behind the Capulet’s house and Juliet’s balcony.**

Leaping the orchard wall in a single bound Romeo crouched for a moment to let his vampire senses search the orchard for threats, he noticed none. Standing he began to swagger towards the house unconcerned by the fear of being discovered. If the guards came for him out here he’d have no reluctance about killing them, not now; as for that damn woman with her stake. ‘HA!’ He laughed, she’d been the one who had scared Benvolio, and it would be a pleasure to make her suffer.

Moving quietly between the trees Romeo looked up at the house and caught sight of the balcony, it was the only one on this side of the house, it had to be Juliet’s. He started to look for a way to climb up just as a light appeared on the balcony and froze him in place for a moment.

“Ay me!” came a girl’s voice from above, Romeo’s improved hearing bringing her voice to his ears clearly across the orchard.

His eyes gazed upwards as he stood in the cover of an apple tree; there on the balcony he could clearly make out the figure of Juliet (and what a figure it was!). The girl had changed out of her ball gown and was now clothed in some diaphanous dress. With the light from the lantern coming from behind her it was almost as if she was wearing nothing at all. Romeo felt himself start to go hard as he watched her brush her hair.

“Romeo, Romeo,” she sighed, “why the fuck do you have to be a Montague!? It’s so unfair!” Juliet stamped her foot and left off brushing her hair for a moment. “Why did the one handsomest man at the entire boring ball have to be a Montague?” she started to pace up and down the balcony. “It’s like I’m totally cursed or something! Then my father boldly announces to the world that he’s marrying me off to Count Paris…I mean…EWW! He’s soooo old, he's got to be thirty at least!”

Stopping in her pacing Juliet leant forward, she rested her hands on the balcony wall and almost fell out of her dress, she sighed causing the vast expanse of her bosom to rise and fall like the Roman Empire. Romeo, who was still down below was now worrying that he’d not be able to scale the wall with the hard-on he now carried.

“Fuck it,” Juliet stood up straight again and put her hands on her hips, “it’s only a name…after all a cock by any other name is still a cock!” she giggled girlishly at her little joke.

“Oi!” Romeo called coming out from behind his tree.

Leaning over the balcony again Juliet peered into the darkness of the orchard.

“Who’s there?” she demanded, “Who’s hiding in my orchard?”

“Tis I Romeo,” Romeo stepped into a beam of moonlight so Juliet could see him.

“Shhhhh!” hissed Juliet, “do you want to get yourself totally killed? If my father’s guards hear us, or that terrible woman Captain Faith…we’ll both be in the privy!”

“I laugh at twenty of their blades!” Romeo pranced towards the wall of the house; he would indeed laugh at twenty of their blades (as long as none of them were wooden).

“Whatever,” sighed Juliet from above, “now, get your arse up here,” Juliet played provocatively with the neckline of her gown, “I’ve got something warm and wet waiting for you.”

For some reason the thought of boiled fish entered Romeo’s lust crazed mind for an instant. After rearranging himself he started to climb. His vampire strength and agility made the climb an easy one and he soon gained the balcony. Once again he had no difficulty entering the house, obviously the invitation from earlier in the evening still held good. He bounced lightly onto the balcony and beheld the object of his desires in all her glory for the first time.

“Well,” Juliet opened her arms towards Romeo, it looked like tonight was going to be the knight, “what are you waiting for? Plough me you simpleton!”

Crossing the balcony in one long stride Romeo gathered Juliet in his arms; his mouth covered hers as he kissed her roughly causing her to moan and squirm against his body. Pushing her against the wall he grasped at her breast with one hand while gathering the skirts of her dress up with the other. He removed his mouth from hers to let her draw breath.

“Is that an arquebus in you britches,” gasped Juliet as her hands fumbled with the laces that held Romeo’s trousers closed, “or are you just really pleased to see me?”

With a final tug the lace came free and Romeo’s britches fell to his ankles.

“My!” Juliet gasped admiringly as Romeo’s manhood sprang free of its restraint, “You are a big boy!”

Eagerly she lifted one leg and rested her foot on the balcony wall as Romeo started to manoeuvre himself into her. She gasped and cried out in pain and lust as he slid himself fully into her. His hands squeezed her breasts as his thrusts made her cry out and writhe against the wall.

“Juliet?” Nursie’s voice came from the other side of the curtain that separated the balcony from the Juliet's room.

“Nursie!” Juliet whispered urgently and tried to push Romeo away from her.

“Will you leave me so unsatisfied?” asked Romeo wondering if he should screw the little slut first before killing the nurse or kill the nurse then finish screwing Juliet.

Deciding that killing the nurse first might spoil the mood, Romeo continued to screw the girl to the wall as he listened to the nurse bustle about inside the room.

“What…satisfaction…can-we…have…tonight?” panted Juliet in time with Romeo’s thrusts.

“Juliet?” called Nursie again.

“Anon…good…Nursie!” Juliet called out, then to Romeo she whispered, “Harder! Faster! Make me come before that old cow finds us!”

Romeo redoubled his efforts, Juliet bit down on her fist to stifle her own cries of carnal desire.

“Madam?” Nursie called again, she was starting to get annoyed at Juliet’s none appearance.

“I come,” squeaked Juliet, “anon…I come!”

“Madam!” Nursie called again, “If you don’t appear in five seconds it’ll be another visit to spankie-land with Captain Faithie' for you!”

Nursie was in no mood for Juliet’s messing about tonight. She’d met a rather handsome footman earlier and she felt lucky.

“By and by,” moaned Juliet as each of Romeo’s lunges into her seemed to lift her off her feet, “I COME!”

“There you are,” Nursie burst out onto the balcony, her eyes took in the scene in a flash, “what the fu…!”

Backhanding Nursie across the jaw, Romeo watched her fall; he smiled as he turned his attention back to Juliet.

“Do you want to live forever and never grow old?” he asked the girl who was still impaled on his penis.

“Oh god yes!” she gasped.

Romeo’s face morphed into its vampire guise and he bit down on Juliet’s neck making her moan anew.

0=0=0=0

**Scene II. Juliet’s suite a little later.**

”Nursie!” called Faith as she strode into Juliet’s suit, “Nursie, come and cut me out of this fucking dress will ya?”

Walking over to where she’d left her street clothes Faith started to remove her hidden armoury and lay it on a handy table.

“Nursie?” she frowned when there was no reply; shrugging she started to pull at the fastenings that held her dress together.

Maybe Nursie had got lucky, she’d seen her deep in ‘conversation’ with a hunky footman who worked for one of the Capulet’s guests. Way to go Nursie, Faith smiled before frowning again. If Nursie wasn’t around who was going to help her out of this stupid straight jacket she’d been forced to wear. A thought crossed her mind; it might be fun to get Percy to cut her out of the damn thing…but… Well one thing would lead to another and no doubt Juliet would burst in just as Percy and herself got to the good part…and where the fuck was the silly little bitch anyway?

A nasty feeling started to spread up from Faith’s stomach and into her chest. She was sure she’d seen first Juliet then Nursie head for the suite, now there was no sigh of either of them. Of it own accord Faith’s hand reached out and picked up a knife, in seconds she had stripped down to her petticoats. Quietly she took a stake from the pile of weapons on the table and started to move silently around the room searching for Nursie, Juliet or anything else that might be hiding in the shadows.

Seeing a lantern shining out on the balcony, Faith stepped rapidly and noiselessly over in that direction to continue her search. A chill night breeze stirred the curtain as she moved cautiously into position, her hand resting on the heavy cloth ready to whip it away and confront whatever horror awaited her there. A groan sounded from out on the balcony, moving the curtain aside Faith leapt out and nearly tripped over Nursie’s recumbent form.

“Nursie!” Faith cried as she knelt down beside the woman.

“Faithie,” groaned Nursie as she put her hand to her jaw and gazed around her in confusion.

“What the f…!”

“JULIET!” shrieked Nursie as she struggled to regain her feet.

“Where?” gasped Faith looking around for the girl.

“No silly!” Nursie had regained her feet by now, “She was here with that Montague boy…y’know…what’s-his-name?”

“Romeo?” Faith’s heart started to sink

“Yes, that’s him,” Nursie shook her head trying to clear it of the fog of being knocked unconscious, “he was out here with Juliet, the stupid little whore. They were fucking then he hit me and…”

“Oh shit!” it was all starting to come together now.

Vampire Romeo had got himself an invitation to the Capulet house, now he could come and go as he pleased. Faith’s brow creased as she tried to remember something…was it Buffy who’d told her there was a way of reversing that? Whatever, it would have to wait there were more important things to do.

“Nursie!” Faith held the woman by the shoulders and looked into her eyes, “Sound the alarm while I get dressed…”

“You don’t think?” Nursie’s hand went to her mouth, if Juliet was dead she’d be out of a job!

“You don’t wanna know what I think,” Faith pulled off her petticoats and started to put on her leather trousers, “now, raise the alarm.”

Nursie rushed out of the room and screamed at the top of her voice down the corridor; better than any siren, thought Faith with a wry grin.

0=0=0=0

**Scene III. The Capulet’s courtyard.**

“Bring torches and crossbows,” ordered Faith to the guard commander.

“What’s going on?” Cavaliere Capulet strode across the courtyard dressed in his night clothes.

All around guards rushed about collecting weapons and lighting more torches.

“I’m sorry, boss,” Faith turned to confront Capulet senior, “but it looks like that shit Romeo has kidnapped your daughter.”

“DAMN HIM!” roared Capulet, then, “Bring me my sword!”

“No boss,” Faith held up her hands trying to calm the old man down, he was turning purple and she was frightened he’d have a heart attack or something, “look it’d be better if you stayed here with your wife…I think…no I’m sure Romeo is a…”

“Total bastard?” suggested Capulet, “Yes, yes I know, but…”

“No boss,” Faith sighed, the old guy had to know sometime, “I think he’s a....”

“Utter swine?” suggested Capulet.

“That as well,” agreed Faith still trying to make her point, “you see he’s a…”

“Dirty, rotten cad who’d sell his own grandmother for a bottle of wine…”

“Vampire!” Faith managed to say as Capulet paused to take a breath. 

“A fiend, you say?” Capulet took a step away from Faith.

“Yes boss,” Faith nodded her head, “and it looks like he’s got Juliet.”

“Then what are you waiting for?” Capulet drew himself up to his full five-foot-eight, “after him!”

“Right boss,” Faith turned and caught the eye of the guard commander, they both rolled their eyes heavenward, “on it now boss.”

Splitting the guard company into two, Faith had half armed with crossbows and the other half with halberds. She told the crossbowmen to aim for the heart and the halberdiers to try and cut off the vampire’s head. Half of the men were left to guard the house while the other half went with her as she started for the gate.

“Faith!”

Turning Faith saw Percy stride towards her with Rosaline running to keep up with him.

“Faith,” Percy came to a halt, “They’ve got Tybalt as well!”

“What?” this was all Faith needed.

“I think they took him in revenge for that little incident earlier tonight.” Percy explained

“Shit,” snarled Faith, “Look, lover, I want you to stay here and guard Rosaline and Nursie…”

“But…!”

“Percy,” Faith pleaded taking hold of Sir Percy’s hand in her own, “I know you’re brave and there’s no one else I’d rather have watch my back in a fight…normally. But this is vamp stuff…y’know?”

“Aye,” sighed Percy, he did know, he didn’t like it, but… “you want me to stay behind and look after the women?”

“Please.” Faith could see the stubbornness in his eyes, “Please Percy, I’ll make it up to you, honest.”

Turning Faith lead the guards out into the night leaving Percy alone with a sobbing Rosaline.

“Well, lass,” Percy said quietly, “if you think old Sir Percy is going to stand quietly by while the woman he loves goes out to face the fiends of hell; me-thinks you’ve got another thing coming!”

Gesturing to a maid who had been cowering in the shadows he called the girl over.

“Take Lady Rosaline up to Juliet’s suite,” he ordered, “leave her there with Nursie…tell them to bolt and bar all the doors and windows.”

The girl curtsied before escorting Rosaline back into the house. Percy looked around; seeing a guard with a crossbow he walked over and relieved the man of his weapon and its bolts. Taking a torch he walked out into the street and looked up and down the road. He needed a church and maybe a priest, but he definitely needed some holy water. Just because he was brave didn’t mean he was stupid!

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	8. Chapter 8

8.

**Act VIII, Scene I. Romeo and Benvolio’s crypt.**

“I DON’T BELIEVE IT!” Benvolio punched Tybalt’s limp body in disgust, “I’ve hardly touched him.”

“What’s wrong?” Romeo wandered over to where Benvolio stood leaving Juliet asleep on the lid of the tomb where they’d been having sex.

“He’s fucking dead!” Benvolio spat in disgust, “I’d hardly started to torture him and he just died.”

Lifting the head of the now dead Tybalt, Romeo looked into the corpse’s face and shrugged.

“Maybe he had a weak heart or something,” he suggested.

“Not fair,” sulked Benvolio as he fingered the scar that disfigured his face. “Hey!” he brightened as a new idea came to his mind, “What say we grab Rosaline and we all take turns torturing her?”

“Why not?” Romeo yawned and stretched his arms, “But can it wait until tomorrow?”

“What’s wrong my lover?”

Romeo turned to find Juliet by his side; she wrapped her body around his and started to rub herself against him.

“I’m afraid, my sweet,” Romeo disentangled himself from the girl, “that the night’s entertainment has died on us…most inconsiderate.”

“But I’m hungry!” complained Juliet switching her attentions to Benvolio.

“I’m sure we can find you something to eat,” Romeo watched as Juliet kissed Benvolio, “there’s bound to be something out on the street even at this hour.”

0=0=0=0

**Scene II. A small square in Verona.**

Finding herself alone in a small square, Faith sighed, she didn’t really blame the guards for deserting her like this. It wasn’t what they’d signed up for, they were brave enough when they faced a human foe but vampires, well, that was her job. Shifting the crossbow so it rested under her arm, she looked around trying to get her bearings. Recognising where she was Faith started walking away from the river and towards the hill where all the important people in Verona were buried.

Vampires were so predictable, Faith laughed to herself, given the choice of a villa or a ruin, they’d go live in the ruin. If there was a handy crypt around they’d leave their ruin and live in the crypt, it just didn’t make sense to her. Chances were she’d find the vamps in the graveyard. She should be able to take out one with the crossbow before having to deal with the other two hand to hand. Faith accepted the idea that Juliet was now a vampire without any conscious thought. If the girl was just dead they’d have found her body back at the house; shrugging under her jacket Faith considered there was a slim chance that the girl might be a prisoner but to her it didn’t seem likely.

Stopping on a street corner she checked the crossbow, it was well oiled and the tip of the bolt was sharp. Next she checked that her rapier was free in its scabbard, her knives where all in their accustomed places as where her stakes. Closing her eyes she let her senses roam free for a moment. Her eyes opened and she smiled much in the way that a wolf smiles, she’d heard voices.

“Party time,” she breathed quietly into the night.

0=0=0=0

**Scene III. A street in Verona.**

“Come along, Father Laurence,” Sir Percy half dragged, half carried the reluctant priest along the darkened street towards the cemetery near the centre of Verona.

Not wishing the love of his life to face the forces of darkness by herself Percy had done some quick thinking. Remembering everything Faith had told him about vampires and how best to kill them, he’d realised that in a straight fight he’d be very dead very quickly. He could probably hold his own, maybe even kill, a new raised vampire (a ‘new-bee’ as Faith called them) but any vampire who’d been undead for any length of time would like as not kill him without breaking a sweat.

What he’d needed was some form of weapon, something that would improve his chances, which was why he’d taken himself down to the local church and routed out the priest. The terrified man had trembled in front of the English (and worse yet Protestant) mercenary; the priest had been unsure of which was the greater danger; vampires or Protestants. Percy had explained that vampires were much, much worse.

The bag over Percy’s shoulder clinked with the sound of small vials of Holy Water which he intended to tie to the tips of his crossbow bolts; he wished he had a longbow. The crossbow was a slow weapon to load, in the time it took to shoot and reload the crossbow, he’d be able to loose off half a dozen cloth-yard shafts, but it would have to do. He’d brought the priest mainly so he’d have someone to carry the extra large cross; plus he had a little plan for something after the fight.

0=0=0=0

**Scene IV. Another street in Verona.**

Peeping around the street corner Faith saw the three figures coming towards her in the moonlight, she recognised them instantly for who and what they were. Putting the butt of her crossbow to her shoulder she sighted along the top of the bolt, aiming for the figure on the left of the line she stroked the trigger mechanism with her finger.

The crossbow made a loud click as the mechanism released the bowstring and the bolt flashed towards its intended target. Watching as she used her slayer strength to haul back on the bowstring and lock it into the firing mechanism she saw the bolt fly straight and true towards its target. Just as the bolt was about to hit the creature of the night in the heart and send it back to hell the bloodsucker moved unexpectedly to its right. The bolt struck home knocking the vampire from its feet and wringing a cry of alarm and pain from its lips.

“Crap!” cursed Faith as she put another bolt in the firing groove and took aim.

0=0=0=0

“Bloody hell!” cried Benvolio as he lay on the cobbles looking down at the crossbow bolt protruding from his side, “Are they trying to kill me by inches?”

As if in answer to his question another bolt slashed through the night and hit him in the chest mere inches from his heart.

“Romeo!” called Benvolio in panic, he reached towards his cousin, “Help me!”

Dragging his sword from its scabbard Romeo took a step towards where Benvolio lay. Yet another bolt flew through the night to hit Benvolio in his thigh.

“Sorry!” Romeo grabbed hold of Juliet’s arm and started to drag her back towards the cemetery, “But we’ve got an urgent appointment else where!”

“Curse you!” shouted Benvolio after the fleeing forms of Romeo and Juliet as their footsteps faded into the distance.

“Looks like it’s just you and me, fang-boy.”

In a panic Benvolio turned to see Faith standing over him stake in hand.

“Oooooooh!” for a moment Benvolio seemed lost for words, eventually he went with, “Fuck!”

Striking with all the speed of a cobra, Faith plunged her stake into Benvolio’s black heart; she stood back and watched him turn to dust.

“One down,” Faith tucked the stake back into its hiding place, “two to go.”

Pulling her jacket straight and readjusting her hat, Faith strode off into the night.

0=0=0=0

**Scene V. A Cemetery in Verona.**

“Chin up old chap,” Percy tried to sound reassuring as he looked down at the priest who hugged his oversized crucifix as he cowered behind a tombstone.

Checking the thread that held the vial of holy water to his crossbow bolt, Percy realised that he’d probably only get one shot off with the crossbow. He wasn’t Faith who could re-cock the powerful bow without using the crank that normal crossbowmen used. From what she’d told him of how fast vampires could move if he missed they’d be on him in an instant.

“Then I’ll just have to not miss,” he told himself.

Pushing back the brim of his hat he looked up at the sky, long rags of cloud moved rapidly across the sky occasionally obscuring the half moon that shone its light down on Verona’s necropolis. Silently he prayed that when the time came the moon would continue to shine for him.

Over to his right he heard the sound of the great ironwork gate scream as it opened, followed almost instantly by the sound of running feet. Taking cover behind the tomb with Father Laurence, Percy watched cautiously as he saw two figures run between the tombs towards the heart of the cemetery.

“Ah-Ha!” exclaimed Percy bringing the crossbow up into a shooting position.

There they were, the two demons in human form, Percy smiled to himself as he sighted on the female vampire who was trailing behind the male, her white nightdress fluttering in the wind of her passing.

“So that’s Romeo and Juliet, eh?” Percy took careful aim, “In but a moment it’ll be just Romeo!”

The crossbow bucked in his hand as the powerful spring of the bow shot the bolt and its cargo of holy water towards its target. The bolt hit Juliet high in the right shoulder, the vial of holy water smashed and splashed over the vampire’s back before seeping into the wound. Juliet screamed hideously as she fell to writhe in agony on the ground.

“Take it out!” she begged her lover, “Take it out!”

Romeo stooped to pick up Juliet and then ran with her to the crypt that they called home.

“Jolly good shot,” Percy smiled to himself, “even though I say so myself.”

Unexpectedly the vampires hadn’t counterattacked, they’d retreated leaving the field to Percy and the Priest.

“I say old chap,” Percy grinned as he connected up the crossbow’s crank and started to cock the weapon, “might be able to get another shot off, eh?”

Placing another bolt in the grove he disconnected the crank casting it to one side as he did so.

“Come along Father,” Percy reached down and hauled the priest to his feet by the scruff of his neck, “time to go a-demon hunting.”

The priest whimpered as Percy dragged him towards the crypt.

0=0=0=0

**Scene VI. A slightly different part of the cemetery in Verona.**

Coming to a halt by the gate of the cemetery, Faith stopped for a moment to listen; she was learning not to rush into danger. A frown creased her brow as she caught the sound of whimpering and at least two sets of feet crashing about in the dry grass that grew between the tombs.

Sword in her right hand and stake in her left she started to hunt between the monuments to the long dead members of Verona’s most important families. Quickly outflanking the two clumsy figures that blundered through the graveyard Faith leapt out from behind a tomb to confront them.

“Fuck sake, Percy!” cried Faith in a mixture of frustration and anger, “Which part of, ‘stay behind and protect the women’ didn’t you understand?”

“Nice to see you too,” Percy leaned against a handy tomb while the priest dropped to his knees and started to pray in a rapid whisper. “Look, my sweet, I couldn’t let the woman I love go into danger all by herself now, could I?”

Faith opened her mouth to speak and then closed it again.

“What the hell,” she stepped towards Percy, wrapped her stake arm round his neck and pulled him forward so she could kiss him, “who’s that?” she asked letting him go and nodding towards the priest.

“Oh, that’s Father Laurence,” Percy gestured towards the terrified priest, “he was good enough to let me have all this holy water,” Percy tapped the vial tied to his crossbow bolt.

“Hey,” Faith smiled at Percy in the moonlight, “good idea.”

“I thought so,” Percy beamed back at her.

She might swear like one of his troopers, drink like a fish and was able to fight ten men and beat them, but he loved Faith with all his heart. One word of praise from her was worth more to him than all the gold in Mexico.

“I managed to shoot Juliet.”

“Dead?” Faith looked hopefully at her lover.

“Sorry, old thing, no…but I did hit her and she’s injured sore bad.”

Faith stepped in and kissed Percy once more, this time taking a little more time about it.

“Y’know I’m still pissed at you, right?” she asked after their lips had separated.

“Of course, goes without saying,” Percy straightened his hat.

“Okay,” Faith sighed as she stepped away from her man, “I’m going in, and this time,” she glared at Percy, “you stay outside, understand?”

“Of course,” Percy nodded his head, “Sir Percy outside with the priest…not a problem.”

Faith eyed Percy suspiciously before turning and following the vampires into their lair.

0=0=0=0

**Scene VII. Romeo and Juliet’s crypt.**

“It hurts,” sobbed Juliet, “get it out…pleeease!”

Romeo knelt beside Juliet on the crypt floor and tried to pull the bolt from his lover’s back without getting any of the nasty burning stuff on his own hands. Eventually he was able to get a firm grip on the crossbow bolt and heaved it from Juliet’s shoulder.

“AAAAAAAAAAGH!” she screamed, “Please Romey, is it bad? Will it scar?”

“No,” Romeo dabbed at the wound with a rag, he really needed some water to wash the wound clean, “It’ll heal, my sweet, I’ll find you something to eat to make you strong again.”

“I don’t like this place,” pouted Juliet recovering quickly now the bolt was out of her shoulder, “lets leave Verona and go somewhere more fun!”

“All in good time, my love,” Romeo stood up and walked across the crypt to look out of the door, “I have unfinished business here.”

Satisfied that whoever had shot Juliet hadn’t followed them to the crypt, Romeo turned to face the girl once more.

“But, Romey!” whined Juliet, “ you said we could go places and eat people and…”

“All in good time!” said Romeo angrily, the little slut needed to be taught a lesson on who was in charge.

“Hi, fang boy!”

Turning rapidly Romeo saw Faith leaning insolently against the door to the crypt.

“You!” snarled Romeo advancing towards her.

“AH!” cried Juliet before fainting decoratively across the crypt floor.

“Looks like,” Faith agreed before jumping down the steps into the crypt and coming en garde with her rapier. “Look,” she smiled confidently at the vampire, “you might as well let me stake you and your bitch coz hey,” her smile got broader, “there ain’t no way you’re gonna win.”

Hissing Romeo attacked Faith slashing the air with his blade, Faith calmly parried his every attack before launching her own series of blindingly fast thrusts. She drove the hell fiend back across the length of the crypt until she had him trapped against the far wall. Romeo tried to twist away from her deadly blade. Faith stabbed at his leg, Romeo frantically tried to intercept her blade with his own, but he was just a fraction of a second too slow.

“AAAGH!” Romeo cried out as he watched Faith’s sword sink three inches into his leg.

Pulling her blade free, with a vicious twist of the wrist that rang another cry of pain from Romeo’s lips, Faith gave a short bark of laugher as she drew back her arm to stab Romeo in the other leg. Suddenly, instead of reducing the vampire to a staggering, shambling wreck, Faith found herself fighting for her life as a wild fiend from hell landed on her back and tried to claw out her eyes!

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	9. Chapter 9

9.

**Act IX, Scene I. Romeo and Juliet’s dark, dank crypt…in Verona.**

The crossbow bolt streaked through the air to hit Juliet in the kidneys. Screaming hideously she fell to the floor where she rolled about in agony trying to reach the burning bolt with her claw like hands. 

Staggering forward released from the weight upon her back Faith stumbled into Romeo; they both fell to the floor. Recovering first Faith punched Romeo in the mouth with the guard of her rapier. Romeo’s head flicked back to make the back of his head crack loudly against the stone floor. Casting away her sword Faith concentrated on trying to drive her stake into Romeo’s un-beating heart, while Romeo struggled to prevent his early demise.

“Oh well done Sir Percy,” Percy congratulated himself on his shot as he pushed the petrified priest into the crypt in front of him. “Time to do your stuff Sir Priest,” Percy laughed good naturedly slapping the man heartily on the back. The priest fell to his knees and held his crucifix in trembling hands before himself, he started to mutter a prayer with a new urgency that surprised Sir Percy no end.

“Speak up old boy,” called Percy as he drew his dagger and sword, “can hardly hear you over the noise that hell bitch is making.”

The priest started to mutter his prayers louder.

Walking over to where the once beautiful, but oh so annoying, Juliet lay squirming on the floor Sir Percy looked at his weapons in confusion.

“Oh drat it all!” he cursed himself for a fool.

In his rush to help Faith he’d forgotten to bring a wooden stake, he knew that the other method of killing a vampire was to behead it; he looked at the narrow blade of his sword. No, he sighed, it would never part her body and head. By now Juliet was beginning to recover a little and drag herself to her hands and knees.

“Oh well,” Sir Percy lunged with his sword, the blade easily passed through Juliet’s body wringing another scream of pain from her blood red lips, “I suppose I’ll have to stand here and keep stabbing her ‘til Faith is finished.”

Pinning Juliet’s hand to the floor with his dagger Percy stood back to watch the female hellspawn for any attempt she might make at helping her lover or escaping.

Across the crypt Romeo and Faith rolled across the floor striking at each other ineffectually. Romeo managed to bang Faith’s stake hand on a piece of decorative stone work, the piece of wood clattered from her grip and bounced across the floor. Taking advantage of his momentary advantage Romeo managed to break Faith’s hold on him and jumped back to his feet.

Taking in the scene in the crypt in an instant Romeo saw Sir Percy standing nonchalantly running Juliet through with his sword every few second. Each sword thrust drew a piteous cry of pain from the female vampire. Turning he saw Faith climb to her feet and snatch up her stake from where it had fallen.

“Fuck this!” Romeo turned and ran towards the door only to be brought up short by the kneeling priest and his cross.

Father Laurence whimpered with fear, closed his eyes and tried to hide behind the poor protection of his cross. He did, however, have the presence of mind to hold on tightly to his crucifix and not let it fall. Shying away from the cross Romeo staggered back only to collide with Faith, who, having recovered her stake was making her way rapidly towards him to bring the fight to a quick and dusty conclusion.

Turning Romeo walked straight into Faith’s attack, there was a dry ‘THUNK!’ as Faith drove her stake home into Romeo’s heart. Romeo looked down at the stake protruding from his chest in shocked dismay.

“A curse on your houses for they have made…” Romeo turned to ash before Faith and Percy discovered what they had made of Romeo, other than dust.

“Whatever,” sighed Faith as she stood over the pile of ash.

“I say, my love,” Percy called as he stabbed Juliet once more, “wonder if you can do the honours,” he gestured down at the writhing whimpering form of Juliet, “but my arm’s getting a little tired and I forgot to bring a stake.”

Giving Sir Percy a very black look Faith strode over to where Juliet lay pinned to the floor with Sir Percy’s dagger. Terrified Juliet looked up at her nemesis. 

“Please don’t kill me!” begged the vampire turning into her more human form, “I promise to be good…I-I always liked you Captain Faith, deep down,” she clutched at her heart, “I never meant to be bad or disobedient I was just led astray by…”

Faith struck and Juliet turned to ash.

“Jeez,” Faith shook her head sadly, “I thought she’d never shut up.”

Standing up she turned to face Percy.

“Y’know I’m really pissed at you now?” she tried to sound angry but she couldn’t really put her heart into it.

“Yes, my love,” Percy returned his weapons to their scabbards, “it was very bad of me.”

“You coulda got y’self killed or something,” Faith continued as she dusted herself down, “I’d a’had to find m’self a new lover!”

“I promise, my sweet, to never try to save your life again,” Percy replied with a slight smile on face, “and I’ll be suitably contrite later…but in the mean time…”

“Yeah,” Faith dashed away the tear that had unexpectedly sprung from her eye, she musta got some vamp dust in it, “mind y’do, leave the vampire slaying to the slayers, right?”

“Indeed, my dearest one,” Percy stepped towards Faith, “you appear to have something in your eye,” he drew forth a silk square from under his jacket, “let me get it out for you.”

0=0=0=0

“Excuse me?” Father Laurence tried to attract the two lover’s attention before they actually started to copulate right there on the floor of the crypt. “Um, excuse me!” he tried again when his first call seemed to have no effect.

“Yes?” reluctantly Percy pulled himself from Faith’s lips, “Can I help?”

“I was wondering,” the priest started to move slowly towards the door, “if you needed me for anything more tonight?”

“Um,” Percy hesitated, “Oh! Oh yes!” he turned towards the priest while still keeping an arm around Faith’s waist, “Yes there was the other thing, thank-you for reminding me…now where should we stand.”

“Stand?” Faith frowned, what was Percy up to now?

“Stand?” the priest fingered his rosary nervously.

“Yes,” Percy replied brightly, “where should we stand when you marry us? Do we need to be facing any particular direction or something?”

“WHAT!?” shrieked Faith.

“But!” the priest stepped back in surprise.

“What the hell?” Faith punched Percy’s arm, but not as hard as she could.

“I can’t marry you!” exclaimed the priest.

“Why?” Percy asked reasonably.

“Yeah why?” Faith stopped trying to kick Percy’s shins and turned hard eyes on the priest.

“Um…well,” Father Laurence eyed Faith warily, “well…the um…the bands haven’t been read, there’s no witnesses and…and you’re both heretics!”

“Hey,” growled Faith, “watch who y’calling a heretic, I’m Catholic…” although she couldn’t remember the last time she hadn’t slept through a service.

“Granted,” conceded Father Laurence deciding not to push the point, “but there’s still the matter of witnesses…”

“‘ello, ‘ello, ‘ello!” as if on cue several members of the Verona Nightwatch burst into the crypt; they’d been hiding outside waiting to come in as soon as the fighting had stopped, “what’s going on ‘ere then?”

“Your witnesses, Father,” Sir Percy bowed slightly towards the Nightwatch.

“Faithie!” cried Nursie as she pushed her way through the crowd of watchmen.

“Captain Faith!” Rosaline appeared from behind Nursie, “are you alright?”

“Yeah,” Faith called back, “apart from having this bozo want to marry me!”

“Oh! How romantic!” gasped Rosaline clasping her hands to her breast.

“‘Bout time too!” agreed Nursie.

“But…!” Faith tried to figure out if she could fight her way out of this mad house.

“My love,” Sir Percy whispered in her ear, “you’re surrounded, trapped and out numbered…I’ll give you honourable terms if you surrender now.”

Just then, as if to ram the point home, Cavaliere Capulet, Count Paris and Prince Escalus squeezed into the crypt with their retainers.

“Okay!” Faith knew when she’d been outmatched, “But you don’t tell me what to do, right?”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” agreed Percy.

“And you can only plough my furrow when I say its okay, okay?”

“But of course,” Percy smiled, that wasn’t too hard to agree to, Faith wanted ‘ploughing’ almost ever night, in fact he was a just little worried that his old ‘plough horse’ wouldn’t be able to keep up with her.

“Okay,” Faith sighed defeated at last, “you better’ve got me a good ring.”

“Nothing but the best for my darling Faith,” Percy pulled two wedding rings from the pouch on his sword belt.

“Smart ass,” whispered Faith as she turned to kiss Percy and the crowd went, “Awww!”

0=0=0=0

**Scene II. The road leading south from Verona.**

The little party rode south away from Verona as Nursie came to the climax of her story about the deprivations suffered by a nearby Covent during the recent wars.

“…finally, explained the Mother Superior, the Pope’s soldiers came and drank all the wine and raped all the Nuns; except Sister Teresa,” Nursie’s story explained how the French, Scots, Irish, Germans and finally the Pope’s soldiers had ravished the unfortunate nuns at the Covent. 

Nursie continued with her narrative. 

“As you can imagine the Môn senior was shocked at this tale of woe. He asked why Sister Teresa hadn’t been raped like all the other nuns, was she a particularly pious nun that the rough soldiery dare not lay a hand upon?” Nursie coughed to clear her throat, “No, cried the Mother Superior, Sister Teresa just doesn’t approve of that sort of thing!”

Percy laughed loudly and slapped his thigh; Faith had rather lost track of the story and didn’t really see the joke, she laughed anyway.

0=0=0=0

After the fight and the wedding in the crypt, Prince Escalus had held a sort of court of enquiry. Within a very few minutes it was decided that a peace must be made between the Houses of Capulet and Montague, thus bringing to an end the years of feuding and fighting that had almost brought Verona to her knees.

As Juliet had been turned into a vampire and was now a pile of ash in the corner of the crypt, Capulet couldn’t hold Count Paris to his agreement to marry her. However, the old noble pointed out, he still had one perfectly good niece that the Count could marry if both parties agreed. Rosaline almost fell over herself in her rush to say ‘Yes!’. Tybalt had been nice enough but Count Paris was older and, no doubt, a more experienced lover and so much richer than the young nobleman had been. The Count, a little overcome with the vehemence of Rosaline’s acceptance numbly nodded his head and agreed.

Now it came to Faith’s and Percy’s turn; the Prince suggested that as they’d killed both Romeo and Juliet, the beloved children of the houses of Montague and Capulet, it was probably better if they left town. Their continued presence would likely cause a renewed outbreak of internecine fighting. As the young couple left one of the Prince’s advisers pressed purses of gold coins into their hands; “For ye Vampyre Slayage” the man had said gravely.

Nursie, now out of a job, elected to go with Faith and Sir Percy. Seeing that how the couple were now married they’d no doubt want to start a family and they’d need a wet nurse.

0=0=0=0

_“And when I came to man’s estate, with a hay-ho wind and the rain,”_ sang Sir Percy as they rode over a hill and lost sight of Verona, _“‘gainst fools and homicidal young women,_ OW!” he cried as Faith slapped him on the arm, “ _men cowered behind their gates! For the rain it raineth everyday.”_

“Yeah,” Faith looked up at the gathering clouds, “what are we going to do ‘bout that? Like where are we going to live?”

“Ah, have no fear my dear wife,” Percy grinned at the look Faith gave him, “I thought we’d head back to England…if that’s alright with you, of course,” there was no hint of sarcasm in Percy’s voice when he spoke.

“England?” Faith wasn’t too sure about that, wasn’t the weather there dank and dull? Didn’t everyone wear tweed? Wasn’t the beer warm? “I suppose so,” she agreed eventually, the truth was she couldn’t think of anywhere else to go, “why not?” she smiled over at her husband.

“Right-ho then, England it is!” cried Percy happily.

Faith eyed the cloud warily and was rewarded by having a big rain drop hit her in the eye. Oh-well, she sighed to herself, she’d better get used to that, as the song said, in England didn’t ‘the rain raineth everyday’?

0=0=0=0

**EPILOGUE.**

_A happy peace this morning with it brings;  
The sun, for joy, will shine forth his head:  
Go hence, to have more talk of these joyous things;  
Some shall be pardon'd, and some rewarded…_

Yes, that was good, thought Will, he tried to ease his aching back as he cast his eye over the words he’d written. Leave the audience to workout who was to be ‘pardon’d and rewarded’. He also didn’t want to give away too much as to whether Sir Percy and Mistress Faith (she refused to be called ‘Lady Faith’ for some strange reason) where real or just characters. 

After scratching the end of his nose Will went back to his writing…

_For never was there a tale of such love,  
As Sir Percy and his turtledove…._

“NO! NO! NO!” Angrily Will scratched out the lines he’d just written and started again…

_For never was a tale of such joy-oh,  
Than Percy and his Faith-i-o…_

That was worse than his first attempt, dipping his pen into the ink, Will tried once more…

_For never was a tale of such affection…_

“Ah-ha! I might have something here,” muttered Will, but it seemed as soon as the muse came to him it slipped through his fingers…

_Than Lady Faith’s passion for Sir Percy’s erection!_

While the statement was perfectly true it wasn’t quite what he wanted for the last line of his play. Sighing Will threw his pen on the table and sat back in his chair, he gazed out at the dark night and wondered what terrible fiends were abroad and what foul deeds they were perpetrating.

He didn’t know why he was bothering to continue writing the play; in the weeks he’d been working the council had decided that it was probably better not to make their struggle against the forces of darkness public knowledge. But, once started he had to finish, plus it was a good story and a good play, even though he said so that shouldn’t.  
Looking through the pages of ink blotted writing Will read passages to himself and smiled, yes, he congratulated himself that was really very good…that balcony scene for instance…

The thought struck him, if he couldn’t use the play as it had originally been written, maybe…

If he cut out the vampires, Mistress Faith and Sir Percy; maybe use those Romeo and Juliet characters as the main characters of the play…a pair of ‘star crossed lovers’… the phrase came to him in a flash. Picking up his pen again Will started to work through the play striking out passages here and adding a note there.

Yawning he stretched and put down his pen again, he rubbed his eyes with inky fingers and sighed. He’d not get this finished tonight and it was probably best to sleep on the idea and start fresh in the morning. 

Standing, Will paused before picking up his quill again; turning to the title page he struck out the original title and in its place wrote…

_ROMEO AND JULIET._

_A Play by William Shakespeare._

THE END


End file.
